Andy Quote #410
Quote from Andy in Are You Better Off?
Andy: Good morning, colleagues, co-workers, friends. Everyone feeling normal... today?
[aside to camera:]
Andy: Here's what happened. I left my sweat shirt at Ron's cabin. When I went back to get it, I found this in the trash: Positive pregnancy test. Side note: I accidentally threw my sweat shirt away. That's why I was digging through the trash. Found that too. Pretty cool. So if my science is correct, one of the five women who were at the cabin - Leslie, Donna, Ann, Mona-Lisa, or April - is pregnant! Can't be April. She would've told me. That leaves four suspects. There's only one man for this job: Burt Macklin, FBI. They said I was retired. They said I was too dangerous for the Pawnee Police Department. Turns out they were right... and wrong. Macklin, you son of a bitch.
Features in the collection: Burt Macklin, FBI.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Burt Macklin, FBI’
Quote from Andy in Born & Raised
Leslie Knope: Okay, Ben, Tom, you stay here, stay on Joan. Get that sticker. Chris, Andy, we're gonna stay on schedule, and we're gonna do some damage control.
Andy: All right. Everybody move! Move, move, move! This entire event is under federal jurisdiction.
[aside to camera:]
Andy: Unless he's in trouble, there's only one man for the job. Burt Macklin, FBI. You thought I was dead? [chuckles] So did the president's enemies.
Quote from Andy in A Parks and Recreation Special
Ron Swanson: Where's Andy?
April: [shouts] Andy! Ron's on!
Andy: [connect chime] Hey, Ron.
Ron Swanson: Where are you, son? Why are you in another room? Are you quarantining?
Andy: No... Well, kinda. I locked myself in the shed. I can't get out.
Ron Swanson: Why doesn't April let you out?
Andy: Oh, Ron. Burt Macklin, FBI, does not need anyone to help him escape a measly shed.
Ron Swanson: How long have you been in there?
Andy: Two days. I'm pretty hungry.
‘Are You Better Off?’ Quotes
Quote from Donna
Leslie Knope: Donna, help me out. What makes Pawnee so great?
Donna: Cost of living is cheap. In about three years, I will have saved enough to pay off my condo in Seattle.
Ben: You have a condo in Seattle?
Donna: Yes, I like the rain and the fish markets.
Quote from April
Leslie Knope: Let's do an exercise. April, what makes Pawnee the best city in the world?
April: Easy. Most murders per capita. The guillotine was invented here. City Hall is run by the walrus mafia.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] Thanks to a lot of hard work and some very dedicated civil servants, this has been a banner year for our city. Obesity and diabetes are down. Test scores are up. Pawnee raccoon attacks have decreased. People can now suddenly feel safe in our parks, grocery stores, and hospitals. I am very proud of what we've accomplished. In fact, this forum is kind of my victory lap.