Andy Quote #207
Andy: Miss Snakehole. You think I'd let you get away that easily? Burt Macklin may be dead, but I'm his brother Kip Hackman.
Kyle: Why wouldn't you have his same last name?
Andy: Shut up, Kyle. I know you boosted those paintings.
April: Maybe it was me, but I'll never tell you where they are. And you'll never have my body either.
[Andy stands up to follow April, but feels sick and falls back down before projectile vomiting on Kyle]
Features in the collection: Burt Macklin, FBI.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Burt Macklin, FBI’
Quote from Andy in Are You Better Off?
Andy: Good morning, colleagues, co-workers, friends. Everyone feeling normal... today?
[aside to camera:]
Andy: Here's what happened. I left my sweat shirt at Ron's cabin. When I went back to get it, I found this in the trash: Positive pregnancy test. Side note: I accidentally threw my sweat shirt away. That's why I was digging through the trash. Found that too. Pretty cool. So if my science is correct, one of the five women who were at the cabin - Leslie, Donna, Ann, Mona-Lisa, or April - is pregnant! Can't be April. She would've told me. That leaves four suspects. There's only one man for this job: Burt Macklin, FBI. They said I was retired. They said I was too dangerous for the Pawnee Police Department. Turns out they were right... and wrong. Macklin, you son of a bitch.
Quote from Andy in Born & Raised
Leslie Knope: Okay, Ben, Tom, you stay here, stay on Joan. Get that sticker. Chris, Andy, we're gonna stay on schedule, and we're gonna do some damage control.
Andy: All right. Everybody move! Move, move, move! This entire event is under federal jurisdiction.
[aside to camera:]
Andy: Unless he's in trouble, there's only one man for the job. Burt Macklin, FBI. You thought I was dead? [chuckles] So did the president's enemies.
‘The Fight’ Quotes
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] I won't publicly endorse a product unless I use it exclusively and I really believe in it. My only official recommendations are U.S. Army-issued mustache trimmers, Morton's Salt, and the C.R. Laurence Fein two-inch, axe-style scraper oscillating knife blade.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] Ann came in the next day and had a second interview with Chris. She nailed it, of course. But she doesn't want to totally leave her job. So they struck up a deal. She works at City Hall part-time, and two days a week, she still gets to be the greatest nurse in the world. Win-win. We need to remember what's important in life... friends, waffles, and work. Or waffles, friends, work... it doesn't matter. But work is third.
Quote from Tom
Jean-Ralphio: Listen, you got to jump on the Tommytown Express. This guy has some of the best investment ideas I've ever heard in my life.
[aside to camera:]
Tom: Make a baby tuxedo clothing line. A department store with a guest list. White fur ear muffs for men. A new brand of bottled water called H2-HO. Contact lenses that display text messages. Invent a phone that smells good. Own a night club called eclipse that's only open for one hour two times a year. Cover charge... $5,000. I can keep going.