Andy: [plays guitar and sings] It feels super good It's super fun I wanna do it all the time Pick your nosee [kids laugh]'Cause boogers are gross Clean out your snout You can pick your nose With your smelly toes ♪
Kids: Ew!
Andy: He's doing it! You're picking your nose, and you put it on your friend! Ha-ha, I started that. Great!

Andy: [plays guitar and sings] Everybody pees the bed Just something that we do I for instance peed the bed Until I was 32
Kids: Ew!

Andy: [plays guitar and sings] Don't play with matches They're really not safe Your parents keep 'em in a drawer With twist ties and batteries.

Chris: Oh, hey. How was your day?
Ann: [sighs] It was okay. Now my legs really hurt. It's like I have a tension headache, but in my calves. A new surprise every day.
Chris: That sucks.
Ann: I know. And I'm so gassy. There's just been, like, a long, slow fart stream coming out of me since we started talking... this morning.
Chris: That really sucks.
Ann: Yeah. It does. Thanks.
Chris: I'm sorry that I was trying to fix all your problems.
Ann: Oh, God, don't apologize. I'm sorry I was such a freak. You're the nicest, most thoughtful baby daddy a girl could ask for.

Craig: That was incredible. You are overflowing with talent, and I admire you.

Woman: Oh. Excuse me. Mr. Karate?
Andy: Mr. Karate!
Woman: My son wants you to sing at his birthday party next weekend. Are you available?
April: He is, but it's actually $250 for short notice. You can call this number and ask for April Karate.
Woman: Yes, I will.

April: Babe... Oh, my God. That was amazing. I kind of think you can make a career out of this.
Andy: But, I mean, I don't know. W- What does that make me, a kids' performer? I'm supposed to be a rock star.
April: You just had fun in there and made $150. Who cares about what you were supposed to be?
Andy: Yeah.
April: Plus, you have never been sexier to me than when you were singing to those kids just now.
Andy: Really?
April: Yeah.
Andy: Well, that's weird.

Leslie Knope: Nolan, I'm very sorry that I overreacted and overstepped my bounds.
Ann: I understand. When I got into the chard game, I knew I'd ruffle some feathers.
Ben: Sure. I'm just glad that we could all come to an agreement.
Leslie Knope: All right, everybody, it is now 5:00 P.M., which means the farmers market is closed.
Ann: And farmers market after dark is open for business! [sultry dance music]
Leslie Knope: Well, if this is the way people want to buy their produce, so be it.
Ben: This town is full of lunatics.
Both: Ugh! [both drink shots] Oh, my God, this was a terrible idea.
Leslie Knope: Yeah, it's like a tree barfed in my mouth.
Ben: Bleh.