Chris: Simple, elegant, and cost-effective. If your team keeps this up, I think we can hold off on filling the Leslie void.
Donna: I think Ben's already filling the Leslie void.
Ann: Oh!
Donna: Oh!
Chris: I'll give it up for that.

Jennifer Barkley: So what's Ben's next move for you?
Leslie Knope: Oh, oh, I'm not going to tell you that.
Jennifer Barkley: Oh, let me guess. Um, you're going to attack me. You're going to go on that perm show again, so you could tell everyone that that ramp idea was yours.
Leslie Knope: It's "Perd," first of all, and no. Maybe. No.
Jennifer Barkley: That's not a terrible idea. No, actually, it is kind of terrible because if you go on the air and tell everybody that I stole your idea...
Leslie Knope: Which you did.
Jennifer Barkley: Which I did, everyone's going to think you're a sore loser, a goody-goody nerd. Because you know what people don't care about? They don't care about whose idea was first. They care about whose idea was best.
Leslie Knope: Well, let's say that that was our plan, which it isn't.
Jennifer Barkley: Mm-hmm, okay.
Leslie Knope: What would you do instead?
Jennifer Barkley: Oh, Leslie. I really shouldn't give you campaign advice.
Leslie Knope: Right.
Jennifer Barkley: Ah, what the hell.
[aside to camera:]
Jennifer Barkley: If you love chess, which I do, but you don't have anybody to play against, which I don't, then sometimes, you just gotta play yourself.

Jennifer Barkley: You could attack the Newport plan for costing too much money. No, but that would backfire because then we would just say, "you can never spend too much on seniors."
Leslie Knope: Of course.
Jennifer Barkley: You need to beat our idea. Come up with something better. I don't know. Maybe a free shuttle service for seniors. All right, that could work.
Leslie Knope: Wow.
Marta: Waffles and a cappuccino.
Jennifer Barkley: Gracias, Marta.
Leslie Knope: JJ's doesn't have a cappuccino maker.
Jennifer Barkley: Oh, it does now. I bought them one.
Leslie Knope: Course you did.

Ben: You talked to Barkley without me?
Leslie Knope: I wanted to tell her what a jerk she was. And then she guessed your plan immediately and demolished it.
Ben: Okay, as a rule, you shouldn't take advice from your opponent's campaign manager.
Leslie Knope: But what if she's right?
Ben: Well, what if it's a trick? I mean, maybe she thinks our original plan would work, and she convinced you to use her plan instead because she knows that won't work.
Leslie Knope: Or maybe she thinks that we think that she thinks that, so we won't do it. But she knows that I know that she knows that-- She's in our heads.

Ron Swanson: I'd like to talk about your future.
Ann: Why are we on this bench? This is weird.
Ron Swanson: You did a great job solving that problem today. The leadership you displayed has gotten me thinking--
Ann: I didn't solve that problem. April did.
Ron Swanson: Really? Why did she tell me you did?
Ann: Because she's April, and she doesn't want you to think that she actually cares about something. If you're looking for someone to help fill in for Leslie, April's a pain in the ass, but she's clearly the answer.
Ron Swanson: Perhaps you're right. [starts reading a book]
Ann: Should I go?
Ron Swanson: Oh, you're still here? Yes.

Jennifer Barkley: Hi, guys. You really stepped up your game. That was really fun. You almost got me.
Leslie Knope: I would have if Bobby Newport hadn't gotten those stupid companies to build factories here.
Jennifer Barkley: What are you talking about? Oh, that thing I said on the show? Oh, no. That was mostly made-up. Don't challenge me on that. That will backfire. Anyway, enjoy your dinner, guys. I already took care of the bill. [laughs]
Ben: Another round, please?
Leslie Knope: Mm-hmm.

Ron Swanson: Nice job on the water fountain.
April: It wasn't me.
Ron Swanson: Don't deny it. I know it wasn't the nurse. I'm asking you to step up. Not replacing Leslie, just picking up some slack.
April: I don't want to do things. I want to not do things, just like you taught me.
Ron Swanson: And I taught you well, but I don't like watching you wasting your brain. And you're too smart to stay my assistant here forever. I'd rather you start a business or use your hands to farm, but right now, the department needs you. Please.
April: Okay... But only because you begged.
Ron Swanson: Good girl.