[aside to camera:]
April: We've been dating for almost a month, so we just decided that we wanted to do something special.
Andy: And dinner parties do combine two of our favorite things... dinner and parties.
April: Parties.
Andy: Yeah. It's like if you could have a Xbox pancake.

Andy: Your invitations include requests for each of you to bring stuff, 'cause we don't have a whole lot. Don't be late.
April: Watch out. [both exit]
Tom: "Dearest Tom, please bring silverware."
Donna: "Please bring cooked steak."
Ron Swanson: This is ridiculous.
Leslie Knope: They're young. They're in love. They're ready to show it to the world. It's very sweet. And we're all going.
Tom: What? There's a boy's sale at Dillard's today.

Ann: So how does this work?
Juliet: All right, you just fill out your name tag, and you're all set.
Ann: Okay. But I-I mean, do I just go up and talk to anyone, or do I wait for them to talk to me, or...?
Juliet: Are you asking me how to flirt with men?
Ann: Okay. All right.
[aside to camera:]
Ann: It's a whole new Ann Perkins. I'm putting myself out there, meeting some new people, having some casual fun, and it is... awkward.

Leslie Knope: Hey, guys. Okay, everybody listen up. April's friend Orin is here. He's very intense and very weird. So if you end up talking to him, just make sure you don't reveal anything personal about yourself.

Ann: Donna. Oh, my God. I am so excited to see you here. These things are horrible when you're by yourself. [Donna is silent] What?
Donna: Do you know where you are right now? We're in the jungle. There are no friends here. It's every woman for herself.
Ann: You're joking, right?
Donna: Do I look like I'm joking? Dating is a zero-sum game. If you get a man, I don't get that man.
Ann: I'm here because of advice that you gave me to be more adventurous in my life.
Donna: Here's some more advice... Beat it.

Leslie Knope: Is April pregnant? Are you pregnant?
April: Yes.
Andy: Yes?
April: No.
Leslie Knope: Are you sick? Are you terminal? Is it like that movie A Walk to Remember?
April: Yes.
Andy: What?
April: No. God.

Andy: [aside to camera] One of my life goals is to be a best man. It's a baller position. You get drunk. You make speeches. And you make love to the prettiest bridesmaid, usually standing from behind.

Donna: You always want to scribble the name. Make them read. Draw them in. Make them work for it.
Ann: Right.
Donna: Two shots of Jameson. Don't make too much eye contact. You want to seem available, but not too available.
Ann: Oh, thanks. I think I'm good for now. I'm not gonna...
[Donna pounds the two shots]
Donna: Yeah. All right... Let's do this.

Ann: [answers phone] Hello?
Leslie Knope: Hi, Ann, it's Leslie... Leslie Knope from the Parks Department.
Ann: Yeah, I know. Where are you?
Leslie Knope: April and Andy are getting married tonight.
Ann: What?
Leslie Knope: Yeah, I know. I need you to get down here, Ann. I need you to kiss him again or kiss her or kiss somebody. I don't know, Ann! Help me, please!

Ben: No, Orin, I don't know how I'm going to die. Wait. Are you asking me or telling me?