Leslie Knope: Look at that. It's gorgeous. What kind of monster would want to change this?
Tom: Ugh! Pre-zit. Do you have any, uh, brown concealer by any chance? I need to look good for Jessica.
Leslie Knope: You know, they may be rich, but they can't just destroy history. Let's go.
Tom: Right behind you. I just need to spend a minute on my cologne cloud.
Leslie Knope: [coughs] What is that?
Tom: Attack by Dennis Feinstein. When you want to attack the senses of the lady you want to bed.

Ron Swanson: So basically, we're completely swamped. All hands on deck.
Ann: I don't even work in this building.
Ron Swanson: Don't care. I need anyone with a pulse and a brain to pitch in.
Jerry: Ron, do you need help with anything?
Ron Swanson: No. We're good. Thanks. In fact, you can head home early.

Leslie Knope: Ah, Mr. Newport, Sr. I've just been informed that you plan on altering this mansion. And as a member of the parks department, as a Pawneean, and an American, I ask you to refrain from harming this historic structure.
Nick Newport, Sr.: What?
Jessica Wicks: I'll take care of this, love nut.
Nick Newport, Sr.: Biscuit.
Jessica Wicks: Yeah. Hi. I'm Jessica Wicks. Miss Pawnee 1994.
Leslie Knope: Hello. Yes, we've met before. We were both judges at the pageant last year.
Jessica Wicks: Leslie Knorp. Of course. How are you?

Tom: So how did you and Mr. Newport meet?
Jessica Wicks: Well, I was doing a ribbon cutting at the hospital. And he was there because his blood doesn't work. And we started talking. And then I realized who he was. [laughs] Oh, my gosh. It was love at first sight.
Leslie Knope: Oh, that sounds so romantic. Um, Jessica, I know you've rented out this house for a party, but it's on the Historical Register so we can't allow any changes. I- I'm so sorry.
Jessica Wicks: [laughs] It's a little late for that, sweetheart. I told them what I was doing months ago. Where I come from there's a saying, "What's done is done."
Leslie Knope: Hmm. That's a saying everywhere.
Tom: I've never heard it before and I think it's a great saying.

Leslie Knope: Well, maybe we can just limit the damage. How much have you done? You painted this?
Jessica Wicks: Uh-huh. Miami Teal is Nicky's favorite color. We also replaced some of the sconces, got rid of the furniture, painted these floors black.
Leslie Knope: Oh, my God, these were the original hardwood floors.
Jessica Wicks: Yeah. They were all scratched up. I did you a favor. Come on in here. I'll show you guys what we did in the sitting room.
Tom: After you. I'd hate to miss the view.
Jessica Wicks: Oh, you little devil, I should just pay you to follow me around.
Tom: If that's a job offer, I accept.
Leslie Knope: Oh, my God.

[montage:]
Ann: Yeah, they do look a little bit swollen.
Ann: Just follow the pen. Follow the pen t...
Ann: Does- Does that hurt?

Man: I ask you, Is this too revealing for a public pool?
Ron Swanson: Kindly get your groin off my desk.
Man: So my body makes you uncomfortable too?

Ann: That guy is scary when he's angry.
Andy: Yeah, God, I know. Hey, sorry, dude.
April: I don't need your sympathy. Or yours.
Ann: I wasn't offering my sympathy.

Ron Swanson: Thank God! That was it, right?
April: Uh, no, there's one more.
Ron Swanson: Damn it to hell!
April: It's with me. And it's right now. And it's about me quitting. I quit.

Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] Well, the gazebo has been destroyed. And the thing that bothers me the most-- [gate swings open] Cut it out, Tom.
Tom: It never gets old!