Nick: You okay, buddy?
Schmidt: Yeah. No, I'm-I'm fine. It's just, I'm really annoyed about the lighting cues. Also, our girl-to-guy ratio is taking a real nosedive. I mean, we're, like, two bro groups away from being a total wiener fest. It's just really disappointing when things don't work out the way you thought they would, you know?
Nick: I do. Hey, why don't we get out of here for a bit? Get away from this party stress.
Schmidt: You mean, like, take a trip together.
Nick: No, just, like, walk 40 yards away. Don't think we need a trip or anything like that, pal.

Schmidt: Look at that, man. You did get a balloon.
Nick: Yeah, I got a kick-ass hot air balloon. But it turns out, you need propane to get it up in the air.
Schmidt: You didn't know that?
Nick: How would I know?
Schmidt: You didn't want to do any research?
Nick: How could I do any research? I was dealing with the porta potty.

Schmidt: To answer your question from before, this is what we were celebrating.
Nick: Yeah, that's right. This is what we're celebrating.
Schmidt: Yes. Yes.
Nick: Yeah. Right? You're my best friend, man.
Schmidt: Please.
Nick: Ten years of living together. Upsetting, but kind of great, man. Here's to it.
Schmidt: Yes. Not having roommates is for real losers, you know that?
Nick: Mm-hmm.
Schmidt: Equals.
Nick: You said it, man. [Schmidt spits out whiskey; screams] Oh, you are such a Nancy boy.
Schmidt: What is in that, man?
Nick: Liquor!

Jess: Pass the hooch.
Winston: Nick's been hogging it all.
Nick: Mmm. Here, have a sip. My mouth's been on it. It's not a big deal. It's just my mouth!
Jess: I... I... It's okay. I'm all right.
Nick: Come on, have a sip!
Jess: You put your mouth all over it! You just said that. You put your mouth all over it, and I don't want to think about your mouth!

[flashback:]
Younger Nick: We're pretty awesome wingmen for each other.
Younger Schmidt: Right.
Younger Nick: Because we're both the guy the girls want to sleep with, and we're both the other guy, too.
Younger Schmidt: Neither one of us are Tom Cruise or the other one. We're both Iceman.
Younger Nick: Yeah.
Both: Equals!

Younger Nick: You get a lot of girls?
Younger Schmidt: Um, I don't know. Yeah...
Younger Nick: Yeah. Me, too.
Younger Schmidt: I feel like you probably have a lot of game with the ladies.
Younger Nick: I know what they want sexually, and I'm not afraid to give it to them.
Younger Schmidt: I get that from you. I get that vibe, man.
Younger Nick: What about you?
Younger Schmidt: I feel like I put off a similar vibe, but kind of more on the down-low, you know what I mean?
Younger Nick: Yeah!
Both: Equals!