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‘Prince’ Quotes

New Girl: Prince

314. Prince

Aired January 2, 2014

Jess and Cece get invited to a party at Prince's mansion.

Quote from Coach

Schmidt: You think Prince has a pool?
Winston: You think he has a drawbridge?
Nick: We're never gonna get in. We're not even in a limo.
Coach: Uh, excuse me, we're in a Ford Fusion, the best car ever made. It gets double the gas mileage of...
Schmidt: Again?
Nick: Shut up. That's all you've been talking about the whole drive, and it's weird. You get sexual when you talk about it. It's in your eyes. I don't like it.
Coach: Double the gas mileage means you go double as far. Double as long.

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Quote from Jess

Prince: Hi. I'm Prince. So what seems to be the problem? Oh, how rude of me. I haven't given you enough time to freak out yet. You may do so now.
Jess: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! [sobs]
Nick: [high-pitched squealing]
Jess: Oh, my God!
Nick: [faints]
Jess: Nick!

Quote from Jess

Prince: So, I'm not familiar with this term "finger guns." Can you elaborate?
Jess: Uh, yeah, it's a...
Prince: Whoa. Don't point those at me. They might go off. [both laugh]
Nick: That was very much of your flavor of humor.
Prince: Listen, Nick, uh... Nick, right?
Nick: Yes, that's my name.
Prince: Jess and I are gonna take a moment to just be alone.
Nick: I'm-I'm not worried, but why? What are you gonna talk to her about?
Prince: You.
Jess: Nick, I never thought I'd say this, but I need to be alone with Prince.
Nick: All right, well Yeah.
Prince: [to Jess] So, do you like pancakes?

Quote from Jess

Prince: You want to know why you can't tell that nice dude you love him?
Jess: I want to say it, but...
Prince: You're scared.
Jess: Exactly.
Prince: If you say it and things don't work out, what then?
Jess: I really care for him. And I'm just worried I'm gonna lose him.
Prince: That's stupid.
Jess: You're stupid. [awkward silence]
Prince: I forgive you.
Jess: Oh, my God, thank God!
Prince: Besides anything beautiful is worth getting hurt for.
Jess: Well, that's very well put.
Prince: You know who said that?
Jess: No.
Prince: Me.
Jess: You're good. God. I wish I were more like you, Prince.
Prince: Finish your pancake. Let's get to work.
Jess: Oh, it's really good. But I'm super full.
Prince: Pancake.
Jess: Okay.

Quote from Jess

Coach: Jess, how did you know the words?
Jess: I think Prince is magic.
Nick: I've always thought Prince was magic.
Winston: Where do we go from here?
Schmidt: How do we move on from this? Just go to work tomorrow?

Quote from Winston

Winston: Hey, Nick. Um, Jess left her panties in the dryer. You mind if I move 'em?
Nick: Sure, man, I don't care. Wait a second. Why do you ask? You're not gonna move them in a weird way or something, are you?
Winston: No, dude, I'm just trying to be respectful, that's all. You know, before you and Jess were together, I moved her panties hundreds of times, so...
Nick: Wait, what?
Schmidt: Hundreds of times? What, are you just hanging around the-the dryer like some sort of panty-hawk? Winston: What?
Coach: Panty-hawk. I'd watch that show.

Quote from Cece

Jess: Did Nick just tell me he loved me for the first time?
Cece: Yeah.
Jess: And did I do finger guns back?
Cece: Yeah, you did.
Jess: No.
Cece: Yes.
Jess: Oh.
Cece: You're gonna want to drink all of this.
Jess: Oh, oh!
Cece: Hey, driver, we're gonna need some more champagne!

Quote from Winston

Winston: You blurted it out. It's not a big deal. That's what I always do.
[flashback to Winston staring intensely as his date eats soup at a restaurant:]
Winston: I love you!
Woman: [chokes]
[present:]
Winston: Sometimes they say it back, sometimes they don't I mean, it's like a numbers game.

Quote from Winston

Coach: Um, yeah, I'm on the list.
Winston: Ernie!
Coach: Winnie?! [chuckles] Winston L. Bishop.
Winston: Ernie, is that really you?
Coach: Oh, my goodness! Come here, man! My God, it's so good to see you! [they hug] This guy saved my life, man.
Winston: [emotionally] No, you saved my life. Let me ask you something, man. You still keep in contact with Freddy?
Coach: Freddy didn't make it.
Winston: Freddy's gone? [groans dramatically]
Coach: [high-pitched sob]
Coach: No! Come on! No! No, man!
Winston: We ain't crying. No, you cry, I cry.
Coach: This is a great night. Hope nothing ruins it.
Bouncer: That's nice to see. Come on, you guys.
Coach: For Freddy.
Winston: For Freddy.

Quote from Nick

Schmidt: All right! Yes!
Nick: Hey, man, don't touch my shin every time there's a big play.
Schmidt: Yeah, no, I got it. Oh, yes!
Nick: Don't touch it every time! Hey, man, stop.
Coach: Oh! [touches Nick's shin]
Schmidt: Oh! There it is! [touches Nick's shin]
Nick: No!

Quote from Nick

Winston: So should I just go move them, or...
Coach: Nick, he's being weird. You gotta move 'em.
Nick: Oh, so now I'm the panty mover?
Coach: Yeah, you're the boyfriend.
Nick: That's not a life!

Quote from Schmidt

Winston: Who the hell is gonna move the panties?
Nick: Coach, you move 'em.
Coach: Are they warm from the dryer?
Nick: You know what? You're out.
Schmidt: Grow up. I'll move the panties.
Winston: Thank you.
Coach: Ooh, seems awfully eager.
Nick: Yeah, you're awfully eager, here, Schmidt.
Schmidt: Oh, yeah. I been waiting my entire life to move your girlfriend's panties.

Quote from Nick

Nick: Stop saying "panties," bro.
Schmidt: Panties.
Nick: No, they're panties. With a "D." Pandies.
Winston: Pandies.
Schmidt: Say "panties" like a normal person.
Coach: No, this is how black people say it. Pull your "pannies" down. No "T" in there.
Winston: We say "pannies." Yeah.
Nick: Here's how a white dude says it. Pull your panties down.
Winston: Guys, honestly, can you not see what the panties are doing to us?
Schmidt: Stop saying "panties" when it comes to Jess, everybody.
Winston: This is exactly why none of us should live with a woman.

Quote from Jess

Jess: We thought we were gonna die, but she was actually really sorry. So she invited us to a party at her boss's house, and they're sending a limo, and guess who her boss is.
Jess & Cece: It's Prince! It's Prince! It's Prince.
Nick: What?
Schmidt: Oh! Prince?
Coach: Nice!
Jess & Cece: We're going to a party at Prince's house. We're going to a party... We're going at Prince's house.
Jess: We're going! That's not my underwear.

Quote from Jess

Jess: Which shoes should I wear to Prince's house, white or black? White, or black? Nick, come on. The limo's gonna be here any minute. Which shoe? White or black?
Nick: Well, I think you look great in everything. I just want this moment to end.
Winston: What are your open-toe options?
Cece: None of it works, okay? We gotta start over. Let's go.
Coach: You failed, bro.

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: Dearly beloved we are gathered here today to celebrate this thing called Schmidt. Nick, are you wearing cargo pants?
Nick: Yeah.
Schmidt: You're gonna wear those to an A-list party? Hey, guys, how are we going to transport all this cargo? Oh, wait, we have Nick's pants. We're saved. Get the frickin' pants off.

Quote from Winston

Coach: Dude, we're not going. Prince invited the hot girls, not the four dudes.
Schmidt: What? Why did I buy this $2,000 suit?
Winston: You idiot! Dude, my suit cost $200, and mine came with socks stapled to the lapel.
Coach: Not gonna tap that.
Nick: I'm not gonna...
Winston: 'Cause it came with it.
Nick: Cheap suit.
Winston: Yeah, but it came with socks.

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: Unacceptable! This party was supposed to take me to the next level.
Coach: Next level of what?
Nick: Don't ask, man.
Schmidt: In every man's life, there is one party that changes everything.
Nick: Oh.
Schmidt: You don't understand. And that is exactly why I'm leaving you all behind.
Coach: So this whole time, you've just been waiting for cooler friends?
Schmidt: Yes. Of course. Coach, look around. This can't be the finish line.

Quote from Nick

Nick: Prince! Unbelievable!
Jess: Hey, look! I'm in a limo! I wish I had really long legs so I could stretch 'em out the length of the limo.
Nick: Well, have fun. I love you. [long silence]

Quote from Nick

Coach: I'll let you borrow this, dude, and you'll feel it. You'll know what I'm talking.
Nick: Why don't I feel it right now?
Coach: Feel it.
Nick: Oh, cowabunga!
Coach: You felt it?
Nick: I'm gonna punch you in the face.

Quote from Winston

Nick: Just drive the car.
Coach: You've never been turned on by gas mileage before?
Nick: Never.
Schmidt: No!
Winston: Once.
Schmidt: When was that?
Winston: It was a Thursday, that's all I remember.
Schmidt: A Thursday?
Winston: Yeah.

Quote from Nick

Nick: Just drive the car. I gotta go tell my girlfriend I don't love her so she doesn't leave me.
Coach: All right.
Nick: Like a normal person.

Quote from Jess

Cece: Amazing. Can you believe it?
Jess: No, I can't. Finger guns? That was so stupid. My brain just froze. If the limo guy hadn't pulled away, I probably would've done a lasso.
Cece: I think you were just a little scared.
Jess: Scared of what? Saying "I love you"? I say "I love you" all the time. I'll say it right now: I love you!
Clayton Kershaw: I love you. Hi, I'm Clayton Kershaw. I'm a Los Angeles Dodger.
Jess: Yeah, and I'm Jessica Day. I'm a Los Angeles astronaut. [giggles] Not now, pal.

Quote from Winston

Winston: Guys, look, I can't help but think that now might be a good time for a little Fire and Ice.
Coach: Oh! Fire and Ice!
Nick: Please, do not-
Schmidt: There is never a good time for Fire and Ice.
Coach: Yes! Yeah!
Nick: Fire and Ice got you into parties in college, but it's not getting you into Prince's house.
Coach: Winston, what happens when you mix fire and ice?
Winston: Warm water, baby.

Quote from Nick

Nick: That's remarkable.
Schmidt: That worked?
Nick: We need our own Fire and Ice, pal.
Schmidt: Well, all right, man.
Nick: Ham and Cheese!
Schmidt: I don't really think the name made a...
Nick: Ham and Cheese!

Quote from Nick

Nick: Excuse me. What?! Who's this guy?
Schmidt: Nick Miller?
Nick: Is that Schmidt?
Schmidt: You scoundrel, you. Well, hot damn. Come here. It's good to see you.
Nick: Yeah, well, the feeling's not mutual! The last time I saw him, I was on the desert, and he was putting my mother into a prison.
Schmidt: You don't understand what we're doing, do you?
Nick: Keep this animal away from me!
Schmidt: You know what? It's my fault. We didn't rehearse. We didn't rehearse.
Nick: Can we come into the party?
Schmidt: You know what? We're gonna wait back here. I get it. It's my fault. It's- Nick?
Nick: I'm Trojan horsing inside a bunch of models. Every ham for himself.
Schmidt: No, Nick! Let me in there! Models, let me in, please.
Bouncer: No, sir.
Schmidt: Unhand me!

Quote from Jess

Nick: I need to talk to you.
Jess: I know.
Nick: I can't leave it the way that was.
Jess: I know, because there's something, um, I really should have said back there and I didn't, and, um I think it's important that I say to you. So, uh, what I wanted to say is, Nick Miller I... [faints]
Nick: Jess! She's all right.

Quote from Nick

Nick: Hey, Jess, you okay?
Jess: Hi. What happened?
Nick: You had a panic attack and you fell down.
Jess: Oh, my God.
Nick: Which is actually worse than finger guns. I didn't think that was possible.

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: [o.s.] Be strong, Nick!
Winston: What did?
Jess: What?
Nick: What's that?
Schmidt: I'm outside the hedge! You see my arm? I'm trying to push through!
Cece: What are you doing up there?
Nick: Be careful!
Schmidt: I lost my bearings! I had to go high to avoid the spiders!
Jess: Nick.
Nick: Just wait for him to finish.
Schmidt: I'm breaching! Uh...
Cece: Whoa!
Nick: Easy! Easy!
All: Oh!
Schmidt: Prince is terrible at Frisbee. There's, like, ten of these things up there.

Quote from Winston

Coach: We should be dead.
Winston: We should be dead.
Coach: I never thought I was gonna see him again!
Winston: He's getting emotional right now, because this is real.
Alessandra Ambrosio: Oh, if you cry, I'm gonna cry.
Winston: And then I'm gonna cry, then we can just cry together.
Ana Beatriz Barros: Poor Freddy.

Quote from Nick

Nick: [to the models] Oh, give me a break. I see what you're doing. You're trying to tempt me sexually. Not interested.
Winston: What are you doing, Nick?
Nick: That leads to me taking my jacket off, and all of a sudden, you guys got me in my underwear, huh? I'm not a dummy. Take a walk. No one's interested.
Ana Beatriz Barros: So rude.
Alessandra Ambrosio: How idiotic.
Coach: No, no, no, no, no, no, stay, stay, stay.
Ana Beatriz Barros: Let's go.
Alessandra Ambrosio: Idiot!
Nick: Yeah, I'm an idiot.
Ana Beatriz Barros: Ciao.
Coach: No, no, no ciao! No ciao.
Nick: You'll be replaced by robots before you can say, "Fragi-cava-licious."

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: Surrounded by celebrities and millionaires, and you dingbats are playing Lemon Mouth. [to Cece] Rind me, woman.

Quote from Jess

Jess: Nick Miller!
Nick: Hey, Jess. I'm not sorry that I said it.
Jess: [whispers in Nick's ear]
Nick: I hate to say this, but I couldn't hear you 'cause it's very loud.
Jess: [shouts] I love you! I love you, Nick Miller!


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