‘Nerd’
Season 3, Episode 2 - Aired September 24, 2013
Nick gives Jess advice after the teachers at her new school don't warm to her. Schmidt ends up inviting Cece and Elizabeth to a work party. Meanwhile, Winston looks after Daisy's cat.
Quote from Nick
Nick: Hey, Jess. Jess, hey. You okay?
Jess: Yeah.
Nick: I'm sorry I tried to stick my nose in this. I just I just I came here because I'm your old man now. And if you're gonna do something that's obviously very stupid... then I'm gonna do it with you.
Quote from Jess
Dr. Foster: What's going on out here?
Nick: Hey.
Dr. Foster: Who are you?
Nick: No, I-I used to live here. I was just doing a visit around the neighborhood. That's my old bedroom right there.
Dr. Foster: That's a bathroom.
Nick: To you maybe it is. But to me and my four brothers, that's a home.
Jess: Nick. Nick, I can't let you do this. Mostly 'cause you're so bad at it.
Dr. Foster: Is that you, Ms. Day?
Jess: Yes. It is. I'm so sorry. I trespassed on your property. And I would not be surprised if you fired me.
Dr. Foster: I think I know what's really going on here. You heard about my new Jacooz. And you wanted a taste. Come on in, kids. The water's hot.
Quote from Winston
Daisy: Hey, babe. Thanks for watching him. He can be a real pain in the ass, huh?
Winston: Yeah. Was there a dude in your shower yesterday?
Daisy: Yes.
Winston: Hmm. How do you know him?
Daisy: From sex. But it was from sex before you and I were exclusive.
Winston: Have you had sex with him since?
Daisy: No. Oh, wait. Yes. Last night.
Winston: Look, um I really liked you, Daisy. You know, I wanted this to be a thing, but, uh I deserve better. And so does Furguson.
Daisy: Hmm?
Winston: I'm keeping the cat. I got your cat!
Quote from Jess
Molly: How long were you stuck in that Jacuzzi for?
Jess: I don't really want to talk about it, but, um, at one point, he did grab my foot with his toes like it was a hand.
Rose: What are you doing tonight? 'Cause we got a liquid form of Ecstasy, and we're gonna grade papers together. What?
Jess: I would love to, but I actually think I'm gonna hang out with my old man. [chuckles]
Quote from Nick
Nick: So I hear you're interested in joining the Sack Pack.
Jess: I might be.
Nick: Then perhaps this will wet your whistle of what's fun about being a member. Just leave it.
Jess: Yeah. You are terrible at Hacky Sack.
Nick: I think I'm retiring. Yeah, I just want to say I would've noticed you. Want to go do it in the teachers' lounge? Jess: Yes.
Nick: You do? Oh, I'm gonna do it with a teacher!