Nick: So, here's my plan. I knock on Reagan's door and the moment before she says good-bye, I give her the Goosebumps Walkaway of your choosing, and then I walk away.
Schmidt: What direction?
Nick: What direction? Do I, uh--?
Schmidt: Do you go left, right or backwards?
Nick: Left, le... uh, left!
Schmidt: Nick.
Nick: Uh, right, right. Backwards.
Schmidt: Left is a great choice.
Nick: 'Cause that's what I started with.
Schmidt: Left is a great choice.
Nick: Thank you, man. That's, that was my instinct, left.
Schmidt: And I would read that one.
Nick: That's 'cause this is a perfect one.

Winston: So... there are 28 guys named Gary Garcia.
Jess: Great, I can do that.
Cece: That's not bad.
Winston: On that piece of paper. 931 in the system; still printing.
Reagan: Are you sure that Gary didn't have something distinctive about him?
Jess: Just a smile big and wide, like the door of a haunted house.

Jess: Boy, was I wrong. Gary Garcia. In my mind, he was Lawrence from Torrance.
Reagan: In your wildest fantasies, he lives in Torrance?
Jess: Lawrence from Torrance, not Lawrence of Torrance. He was born in Torrance, but now he lives in Brentwood.
Reagan: Lawrence of Brentwood. Kind of sounds like the sponsor at the end of a game show.
Jess: Yeah. "Pat Sajak's wardrobe furnished by Lawrence of Brentwood."
Reagan: Yeah.

Reagan: Hi, Nick. I want to say something to you before we say good-bye.
Nick: Shh... [puts his finger on Reagan's lips]
Reagan: Ew.
Nick: Sayonara, Sammy. Sayonara.
Reagan: What? [Nick backs away] That's the shower.
Nick: [whispering] I know it is.

Jess: How do I get in touch with you?
Gary: It's gargar... It's G-A-R-G-A-R, like Gary with no "Y"s, twice, no spaces.
Jess: Someone get me a freakin' pen!
Gary: @historicbrentwood.info.
Reagan: [watching on TV] Oh, my God.
Jess: Wait! Did you say Brentwood?
Gary: Historicbrentwood.info.
Reagan: Gary of Brentwood.
Nick: Gary of Brentwood.
Winston: Gary of Brentwood.
Schmidt: Gary of Brentwood.

Jess: "J" as in Jack, "D" as in dog...
Schmidt: [watching on TV] Should she be giving out her personal information on TV? I mean...
Jess: ...at...
Schmidt: ...verdicts get appealed. And killers go free.
Winston: Eh, hard to be killed over e-mail.
Gary: ...and I live at 310 Traction Avenue, apartment 4D.
Winston: Easy to be killed in your home.
Gary: You know where to find me!
Jess: I need to see you now!

Nick: Jess did it right. She said something real. And I said "Sayonara, Sammy." Who the hell is Sammy?

Schmidt: Cece, I'd like to show you something that I have not been working on. I will not. You do the hustle, you stupid bossy song. I'm doing this for fun.
Winston: You know I gave him the courage to do this?
Nick: Well, maybe you could give him the courage to stop.
Jess: I missed you guys!
Schmidt: No choreography, you guys! Just keep it loose and fun! [laughs] Oh, it's the best time of my life!

Jess: Hey, did Reagan say anything to you?
Nick: Yeah, she actually did. She said, uh, "Sayonara, Sammy."
Jess: Does that mean anything?
Nick: No, but whatever it means will factor heavily into tonight's Nick-on-Nick time.
Jess: I don't want to know what Nick-on-Nick time is.
Nick: Masturbating.
Jess: Way more information than I wanted.
Nick: Everybody does it three or four times a day.
Jess: [laughing] Three or four times...
Nick: I'm talking about masturbating. [Jess laughing] But never am I fully into it physically.
Jess: [giggling] What?
Nick: I missed you, kid.
Jess: Missed you, too. God, your nose hairs have gone totally bananas. I'm gonna get my scissors.