Jess: Ugh, he's not picking up.
Schmidt: Of course he's not picking up. He's in the...
Jess: Don't say it.
Schmidt: [quietly] ...ducts. [Jess slaps Schmidt] He's in the ducts.

Jess: I'm going up there.
Schmidt: Okay, good. 'Cause I really don't want to go up there. Look, I'm the kind of guy that likes to enjoy the AC, not see how the sausage is made.
Jess: Seriously, Schmidt? Shut up and give me a boost.

Nick: [screams] No!
Jess: Nick, it's me! Nick, it's me!
Nick: Jess, what are you doing here?
Jess: Look, I-I know you didn't plan the sabotage, and I know you're doing this just to get back at me, but please don't do this.
Nick: Jess, it's not about the sabotage, okay? It's about the fact that you think I'm gonna screw up everything I touch.
Jess: No, Nick, I don't.
Nick: You know what, Jess? This is where I belong. With Winston and a badger.

Winston: Hey, Jess, welcome, welcome. You know, I'm just staying positive, but, uh... I'm pretty sure this is where we die.

Winston: Guys? Guys, you know... I've been thinking a lot about the Earth. We got to leave it better than when we found it.

Nick: Tell me that there isn't a small part of you that's scared that I'm too much of a mess.
Jess: We have to go.
Nick: That this thing is a mistake. You and me. Just admit it, Jess.
Jess: Yes, there is a small part.
Nick: Yeah.

Winston: You know, sometimes I feel like I never really felt love, you know? Do you know?

Jess: Hey! Hey, hey, everybody. Hi. Hi. I'm Jessica Day. I'm the, uh, maid of honor. I'm also the person who fell through the roof with my friend Nick Miller here. Um, I have a few things to say. Um, there might be a badger on the loose, but I have my best people on it.
Nick: I'm on it. Don't scare the badger! Schmidty, help me!
Schmidt: Okay! Funnel it into the mandap!

Jess: So... Hey, Nick. You okay?
Nick: Me? Yeah. You mean from the fall?
Jess: Yeah. And... what we talked about.
Nick: Yeah. Look, Jess, it's not... you know, that big of a deal. And we tried. It's just... You might be right about your fears, you know, it's...
Jess: Just... just say it.
Nick: I-I think we should call it, you know? It's not like we're in love or anything. We had one night.
Jess: Okay, let's call it. I think that feels good to me. Does that feel good to you?

Jess: Look, I know you think we should call it, but I don't want to give up on this, even if we don't know what this is. I want to un-call it. Please, can we un-call it? Before you say no... Don't say no. [they kiss]