Charles Friedkin: Captain, when did you first suspect Evan Ggildea was responsible for his wife's murder?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, actually that was Adrian Monk. See, Monk was looking around at the art at the victim's house, and he noticed something.
[flashback:]
Adrian Monk: He hit her with this?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Apparently.
Adrian Monk: Why didn't he use this one? The fight started here. I would have grabbed this. It's heavy enough. It would have been perfect. Instead he crossed all the way over there.
Natalie: E.G. Evan Gildea.
[present:]
Captain Stottlemeyer: So Monk figured that Mr. Gildea, not wanting to destroy one of his own pieces of art, grabbed the other statue.
Charles Friedkin: And that's when you began to focus on the defendant.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yes, sir, that's correct.

Harrison Powell: That's a great story, captain Stottlemeyer. I won't take up too much of your time. I just have a few questions. Your consultant Mr. Monk, is he a trained psychologist?
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, no, but he's a lot smarter than any psychologist I've ever met.
Harrison Powell: Well, yeah, he would have to be, having never met my client, to know that my client would not use one of his own statues as a murder weapon.
Captain Stottlemeyer: That was just a theory. A theory that led us to a substantial amount of other evidence.
Harrison Powell: Okay, we'll get to that other evidence a little bit later. I would like to know, if we could just back up for a little bit, how was Mr. Monk able to divine where the fight started?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Where the fight started?
Harrison Powell: Where it started. How did he know, for example, the fight did not start in, say, the foyer?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Um, I'll have to consult my notes.
Harrison Powell: Were you there when the fight started, Captain Stottlemeyer?
Captain Stottlemeyer: No.
Harrison Powell: Was your friend Adrian Monk there when the fight started, Captain Stottlemeyer?
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, he was not.
Harrison Powell: Isn't it possible, Captain Stottlemeyer, isn't it possible the fight could have started in the foyer? Captain Stottlemeyer: Yes, it's po-
Harrison Powell: Good job. I think we're done.

Lieutenant Disher: You're sweating.
Captain Stottlemeyer: He's tough.
Lieutenant Disher: Your tie's wet.
Natalie: What happened in there?
Captain Stottlemeyer: He's tough. That's what happened. He kept coming at me like Muhammad Ali.
Bailiff: Adrian Monk, you're up.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, be careful in there. Don't give him any openings.
Adrian Monk: Leland. I'm fine. Evan Gildea is the guy. We both know he's the guy, and in 20 minutes the jury's gonna know it too. [clicks tongue]

Lieutenant Disher: Rudy, what happened? Was it my fault?
Rudy: Your fault?
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, I was your big buddy. I was supposed to look out for you. And I should have said, "Rudy, don't kill anybody."
Rudy: I didn't kill anybody.
Lieutenant Disher: I talked to the DA. I know what you did.
Rudy: Randy, I swear. I messed up. I went in there, I robbed the place, I admit it. I took 30 bucks from the cash register. I grabbed a gold chain from the lady. Then I split. She was alive when I left.
Lieutenant Disher: [reading] 30 bucks from the register. You grabbed a chain? You told the cops that? It's not in here.
Rudy: Guess you guys aren't perfect.
Lieutenant Disher: Look what I found. Our friendship bracelets. Put it on. I remember when we made these. Remember what we said?
Rudy: I remember.
Lieutenant Disher: We promised each other we wouldn't lie to each other. So I'm gonna ask you one time. Did you kill that woman, Rudy?
Rudy: I swear. I didn't do it.

[flashback:]
Lieutenant Disher: Mr. Gildea, how do we know when you sculpted this? I mean, it could have been last week.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Or last year.
Evan Gildea: Here's how you know. She was carved from a two-ton slab of Belgian gray marble that was delivered yesterday at 5:00 pm. Here's the receipt. You can call the quarry yourself.
Adrian Monk: How do we know this is the same slab of Belgian gray marble? You could have sculpted the-the-the-the-the-the-the...
Natalie: Nude.
Adrian Monk: The nude statue out of a different slab. And when that marble was delivered yesterday, all you had to do was hide it.
Evan Gildea: Hide it? You think I hid a two-ton slab of marble? [laughs] That's fantastic. Where is it, detective? Is it underneath the couch?

[flashback:]
Adrian Monk: The clock.
Evan Gildea: Excuse me?
Adrian Monk: The clock in your studio was 20 minutes slow. And that popsicle is half-melted. Your freezer must have been off for a while. You blew a fuse.
Evan Gildea: A fuse? Wait, you're right. I remember. I was plugging in my coffee maker.
Adrian Monk: No, no, no. It wasn't a coffee maker. You were using something much bigger. There's a heavy duty extension cord in there. It is the only thing in your studio not covered with dust. You were using some, some kind of tool. A jackhammer. You killed her, you drove back here this morning you chopped up all of the marble with the jackhammer before Sgt. Carney arrived. It wouldn't have taken you more than an hour.
Evan Gildea: I chopped it all up?
Captain Stottlemeyer: You're in the middle of nowhere. Nobody would have heard you.
Evan Gildea: And then what? Where did I put it? Two tons of marble. Oh, oh, maybe I ate it.
Adrian Monk: No. No, you didn't eat it. We're standing on it.

Harrison Powell: And he took the two tons of marble, and he spread it across his driveway?
Adrian Monk: That's right.
Harrison Powell: And you're a detective, Mr. Monk. You're not a science fiction writer?
Adrian Monk: No, I am not. A writer.
Harrison Powell: That's too bad. I think you might have missed your calling, Mr. Monk.
Charles Friedkin: Objection, your honor. Argumentative.
Judge Santa Croce: Sustained.

Harrison Powell: Let's bring it in. Your honor, I would like to introduce to the court defense exhibit B. This is a sample of the gravel taken from my client's driveway. Now, Mr. Monk, if what you're saying is correct, the all of these pieces could have come from the same slab. Therefore, they should all fit together like a giant jigsaw puzzle. Isn't that right?
Adrian Monk: In theory.
Harrison Powell: In theory? You want to send my client to jail for the rest of his life on a theory?
Adrian Monk: No wait, I misspoke. It's not a theory. It's what happened, okay. He's the guy.

Harrison Powell: Why do you need a nurse, Mr. Monk?
Charles Friedkin: Objection. Immaterial.
Harrison Powell: Mr. Monk said he needed a nurse.
Judge Santa Croce: I'll allow it. Answer the question.
Adrian Monk: I had a breakdown ten years ago after the death of my wife.
Harrison Powell: That was the same time you left the police force, correct? Could you please explain to us the exact circumstances of your departure from the police force?
Adrian Monk: Psychiatric discharge.
Harrison Powell: I can't hear you, Mr. Monk.
Adrian Monk: It was a psychiatric discharge.
Harrison Powell: We're all very sorry for your loss, Detective Monk. Excuse me, former detective Monk.

Harrison Powell: Former detective Monk, I'm sure you would do anything to impress the commissioner to get your badge back.
Charles Friedkin: Objection. Mr. Monk is not on trial.
Harrison Powell: It establishes credibility, your honor.
Judge Santa Croce: Overruled.
Harrison Powell: Former detective Monk, isn't it true that the only way you could get reinstated is to be appearing to be solving a high-profile case. A high-profile case, just like this one.
Adrian Monk: Appearing to solve, no. I did not appear to solve anything. I solved the case. I solved it. He's the guy. He is the guy. He chopped it all up with a jackhammer.
Harrison Powell: Where is the jackhammer?
Adrian Monk: He had all morning to get rid of it. Look, it's so obv- [climbs out of the box] And these pieces do fit together. I'll show you. Okay? Here, look. This one goes with this one. Wait a sec. All right, look. All right. Hold that one.