‘Mr. Monk Takes the Stand’
Season 8, Episode 5 - Aired September 11, 2009
After solving the case of a sculpture artist who killed his wife, Monk is called to the stand to testify and faces a hot shot attorney, Harrison Powell (guest star Jay Mohr). Meanwhile, Lieutenant Disher is shocked to learn
Quote from Natalie
Adrian Monk: It's my fault.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Don't beat yourself up. You can't win 'em all.
Adrian Monk: The gravel and the microphone. What was I thinking?
Lieutenant Disher: Hey, you had a hell of a run. Nobody goes undefeated forever.
Natalie: What happens now?
Harrison Powell: Oh, nothing happens now. It's over. Mr. Gildea can never be tried again.
Captain Stottlemeyer: He's right. It's called double jeopardy.
Natalie: How do you sleep at night?
Harrison Powell: Like a baby in a real expensive bed. Thanks for asking, though. Oh, and, detective?
Lieutenant Disher: Lieutenant.
Harrison Powell: Lieutenant. You're wrong. Some people do go undefeated forever.
Natalie: And I still hate you.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: That's weird.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What?
Adrian Monk: The taillights on Evan Gildea's car. They don't match. One is brighter.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, we can't arrest him for that. Give it up. It's over. They beat us.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: Yes, I am a good detective. But I'm a terrible witness, which is why I'm quitting.
Dr. Bell: Adrian, setbacks like the one you just experienced are a part of life. You could argue they're the most important part of-
Adrian Monk: You don't understand. A killer, a stone-cold killer is back on the street because of me. Because that lawyer Harrison Powell ripped me apart on the witness stand. You weren't there. He he dismantled me. I was helpless.
Dr. Bell: I understand.
Adrian Monk: And it's going to happen again. What's to prevent it? I'll solve another case, then somebody else will be arrested, and all they have to do is hire Harrison Powell. It's like he has one of those get-out-of-jail-free cards.
Dr. Bell: It's funny you mention it. That's exactly... Never mind.
Adrian Monk: I'm a liability now. I'm the weak link. Believe me, I'm doing the city a favor.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Natalie: Hey, what are you doing?
Adrian Monk: Oh, these are my old case files. I'm organizing them by date, and then cross-referencing them by name of the suspect. The yellow folders indicate multiple victims.
Natalie: And what are you gonna do after
Adrian Monk: I'm gonna burn them.
Natalie: You can't quit, Mr. Monk.
Adrian Monk: Already have.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Natalie: Come on, Randy. Keep reading.
Lieutenant Disher: Let's see. "There's $30 missing from the register. She was struck once in the back of the skull, medulla oblongata."
Adrian Monk: Wait, wait. She was only hit once?
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, she died instantly.
Adrian Monk: That's exactly how Nancy Gildea was killed.
Natalie: Monk, you're right.
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah.
Adrian Monk: When did this happen? What was the day?
Lieutenant Disher: October 1st.
Adrian Monk: About 10:00 pm?
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, that's right. How did you know that?
Quote from Adrian Monk
Evan Gildea: If you're trying to scare me, you can forget it. I was acquitted, remember? Jury of my peers.
Captain Stottlemeyer: This isn't about your wife, Mr. Gildea. This is about Sara Paddock. Different murder. Different case.
Evan Gildea: Who?
Adrian Monk: She was the woman at the auto parts store you murdered when you were leaving town. That was her name. Sara Paddock.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Harrison Powell: Do you really want to go up against me again, former detective Monk?
Adrian Monk: Yes, I do. I'll see you on the ball field.
Harrison Powell: The ball field?
Adrian Monk: I've seen your curve ball. I can hit it now.
Harrison Powell: Oh, I'm really looking forward to this.
Adrian Monk: No, you're not.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Harrison Powell: Go ahead. Say it.
Adrian Monk: It hurts, doesn't it?
Quote from Adrian Monk
Natalie: Hmm, hmm. Mr. Monk.
Adrian Monk: Don't say it.
Natalie: I'm proud of you.
Adrian Monk: Okay, you can say it.
Natalie: You were the best witness ever. You answered all the questions. You didn't get rattled, even when the microphone was all bent up and twisted. You ignored it.
Adrian Monk: I don't know why you're so surprised. Just doing my job.
Natalie: Come on, Mr. Expert Witness. I'll drive you home.
[After they leave, Monk returns to the court room to straighten out the microphone]