Tom Donovan: What's going on? Is there any news?
Captain Stottlemeyer: You remember Adrian Monk? He just spent five days with Ralph Roberts at the sibling ranch.
Tom Donovan: Oh, good. What did you learn? Two things. People don't like being stopped at the airport, and you're hiding something. You killed her. Didn't you?
Susan Donovan: John? Is everything all right?
Tom Donovan: I'm not sure. My wife. Susan, these men are with the police. They just accused me of murdering that poor girl.
Susan Donovan: What? You must be joking. Everyone knows who killed her. It was that whack-job. That cult leader.
Adrian Monk: I thought so too, ma'am. We all did, but that whack-job was definitely 140 miles away in his cabin on the night of the murder.
Captain Stottlemeyer: We know that Father was there, because he wasn't alone.
Adrian Monk: I remembered something. One of the cult kids, Brother Zack, said he was sitting outside the cabin all night. He said he heard a microwave beeping from inside.
Susan Donovan: What the hell are you talking about?
Adrian Monk: I was in that cabin. There are a couple of lamps. There's a hot plate. There is no microwave oven.
Natalie: What the boy heard was a beeper.
Adrian Monk: It belonged to a doctor, making a house call. Father has trouble bending down. And that explains the plastic cap. It was from a syringe.
Lieutenant Disher: Father has a bad back.
Adrian Monk: It's a big secret, of course. He's supposed to be the eternal one, who never gets sick. He even built a secret door in the wall so that doctors could go in and out without being noticed. I remember seeing a ridge in a dirt behind his cabin.
Captain Stottlemeyer: We found the doctor. He's an osteopathic surgeon named Wesserman.
Lieutenant Disher: He goes to the ranch once a week to give Father a cortisone shot.
Captain Stottlemeyer: See, Father has a beautiful alibi that he can't tell anybody.
Susan Donovan: Okay, so maybe it isn't this man, this- This Father person. That doesn't mean that Tom was involved.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Your husband swore that he saw Father at that rest stop. He picked Father out of a lineup twice. Now, if Father wasn't there, that means your Husband is lying and I'd like to know why.
Susan Donovan: Okay, this is ludicrous. My husband is a hero. He tried to save that woman. He drove her to the hospital. Look, look. This just came in the mail. I can prove it. It's a traffic ticket. He must have run a red light. They have one of those automatic cameras. That's him and that's the girl. That proves it, right?
Adrian Monk: Yes, ma'am. I'm afraid it does. Where's the car?

Adrian Monk: You were with her that night. You drove through that intersection. You saw a camera flash. You knew your picture had just been taken. A picture of you and her. As you said, it's a company car, which meant they'd be sending the ticket here to the office, which meant your wife would see it, and she would not be happy.
Susan Donovan: You got that right.
Adrian Monk: Somehow, you were gonna have to explain this photograph. Amanda must have told you about her past, about her life in the cult. You realized you could kill her and blame it on the whacked-out cult leader. He was the perfect fall guy. Everybody knew Amanda was afraid of him.
Tom Donovan: That's it? That's just a story. Where is your proof? This isn't proof. It's not even a good picture. It's all dark, it's all grainy. You can't see anything.
Adrian Monk: You can see the seatbelt. She was wearing a seatbelt.
Tom Donovan: So what? She was dying. I put her in my car, I buckled her seatbelt.
Adrian Monk: You're saying this photograph was taken on the way to the hospital after she was attacked?
Tom Donovan: That's right.
Adrian Monk: This woman was stabbed ten times. She was bleeding all over the seat.
Tom Donovan: That's right.
Adrian Monk: So this seatbelt, the seatbelt she was wearing in this photograph, should be covered in blood, am I right?
Lieutenant Disher: That's gonna be hard to explain.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I'd say impossible.
Lieutenant Disher: Mr. Donovan, you're under arrest. Come with me, please, sir.

Ralph Roberts: Brother Adrian! It's okay. I just wanted to thank you in person. You cleared my name, brother. You answered my prayers, you lifted my burden like the Angel Gabriel.
Adrian Monk: I have some sherbet here. It's gonna melt.
Ralph Roberts: Would you like to come home?
Adrian Monk: No, th- No thank you.
Ralph Roberts: Well, just think about it. In the meantime, if there is anything I can do for you. Anything at all. Just say the word.
Adrian Monk: There is something.
Ralph Roberts: Name it. Anything.
Adrian Monk: Your shoelace is untied.
Ralph Roberts: My shoelace?
Adrian Monk: I'd like you to bend down and tie your shoe. Right now, in front of your children, I want you to bend down, and tie your shoe. Can you do that for me?
Natalie: Maybe a little cortisone shot would help. Or we could call Dr. Wesserman, right? Dr. Seth Wesserman of Sausalito.
Adrian Monk: He's been treating father for years. Call him. The more you know, the less you don't know. Isn't that right?
Natalie: So long, pops.

Sister Sally: What's your name?
Adrian Monk: Adrian.
Sister Sally: And do you have any children, Adrian?
Adrian Monk: No. None.
Brother Ted: I think we can help you, Adrian.
Natalie: Well, Adrian isn't interested. He has, uh, to get home. Right? You have that thing, remember?
Adrian Monk: Yeah. I cancelled that thing. I'm fine.
Brother Ted: We can put order back in your life, Adrian. How's that sound?
Sister Sally: Why don't you come with us? We can tell you all about it at the meeting.
Adrian Monk: That sounds great.
Brother Ted: [over radio] Bring the van.
Natalie: What are you doing? This was supposed to be me.
Adrian Monk: Well, they don't want you. This is plan B. Don't worry. I know what I'm doing. I got them right where I want them. They think I'm some kind of boob.

Captain Stottlemeyer: Natalie, where is Monk?
Natalie: Change of plans. Uh, it was a last-minute thing, but Mr. Monk joined the cult.
Captain Stottlemeyer: He what?
Natalie: I couldn't help it. They wanted him.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Of course they wanted him, Natalie. He's like play-doh to them.
Natalie: No, no, no. He seemed okay. He waved like he was okay as he got into the van. He did.
Captain Stottlemeyer: He waved? Come here, Natalie. Look at this guy. Eighteen months ago, he was teaching at M.I.T. He was considered a genius. Now he's a complete basket case. Can you imagine what they're doing to Monk?
Natalie: Don't underestimate Mr. Monk. He's a lot stronger than you think.