Steven Albright: Sir, you don't have to hold your breath. There's plenty of air.
Adrian Monk: [exhales] How much time?
Steven Albright: 15 seconds.
Adrian Monk: I'm pretty sure he killed himself.
Natalie: How do you know?
Adrian Monk: I've been on board 15 seconds and I'm suicidal.

Adrian Monk: It doesn't feel like a man-made boat or a submarine. It feels like a living thing. Like a beast. And I'm in- In the lungs or the stomach. It's like it's swallowed me whole. I feel like it's digesting me. Honestly, I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here.
Dr. Bell: [imaginary] Yes, it's quite fortuitous. I heard you were on a submarine, and I thought you could use my help. So I climbed on board just as the ship was going underwater.
Adrian Monk: Wow. What do we do now?
Dr. Bell: Well, we're gonna take it one day at a time. One hour at a time. We're gonna get through this together.
Adrian Monk: Hmm.
Dr. Bell: I've been observing you, Adrian. You're doing very well in spite of your condition. Your acute claustrophobia.
Adrian Monk: Well...
Dr. Bell: I'd even say you're being rather heroic.
Adrian Monk: [chuckles] I have to be brave for Natalie's sake. She's just a girl. She's depending on me.
Dr. Bell: Well, she's lucky to have you.
Adrian Monk: That's true. What? Medal of honor? I think that's a bit premature, Dr. Bell.

Adrian Monk: Wait. Dr. Bell, he's right outside. Dr. Bell, open the hatch! Dr. Bell!
Natalie: Dr. Bell! What am I saying? Help, somebody, help!

Dr. Bell: [imaginary] The important thing is to stay busy. Focus on the case, all right? Now, tell me about the crime scene.
Adrian Monk: Okay, well, the room was locked from the inside. Everybody's saying suicide, but it doesn't feel right. You know? I found this. Here.
Dr. Bell: Smells like gunpowder.
Adrian Monk: I noticed that too. Hey, we make a pretty good team.

Natalie: Okay, I didn't wanna bring this up, but I am a taxpayer and that means that you, sir, work for me, and I am ordering you to turn around and take us home! Okay, I'm not ordering, I'masking. Please, please, you don't know him. Sir, he can't handle this. Confined quarters like this underwater? He's gonna crack any second. I'm surprised he's even hanging on a little bit.

Steven Albright: There was one other thing. I saw him the night before. We made plans to go to a Giants game while we were here. He seemed fine.
Adrian Monk: I assume there was an investigation.
Steven Albright: Yes, of course. NCIS ruled it a suicide. Mr. Monk, I know you're a busy man. We're only in port for one day. I wonder if you could come down to the boat and take a look around. I just I wanna know if I'm crazy.
Natalie: Well, of course we can. I'll get my purse.
Adrian Monk: Well, you mean now, today? I can't today.
Natalie: Why not?
Adrian Monk: Here's the thing. It it's a boat, and I really don't do boats.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, I've been on these boats. These boats are so big they don't even feel like boats. They're like islands. You've been on Islands before, right? You like Islands.
Adrian Monk: No.
Natalie: It's like Hawaii. Think of it like that. We're going to Hawaii.
Adrian Monk: I believe you are the devil.

Steven Albright: There she is.
Adrian Monk: My God! Where's the rest of her?
Steven Albright: That's it.
Adrian Monk: Is she sinking?
Steven Albright: No, sir. That's the USS Seattle. She's a class-four submarine. [Monk gasps] Are you okay?
Adrian Monk: Submarine? You said boat. You distinctly said boat. Natalie, you were there.
Steven Albright: We call her a boat.
Adrian Monk: It's not a boat, it's the opposite of a boat. Are you familiar with the word "float"?

Natalie: Mr. Monk, we're already here. How about this? Three minutes, we just go on board and look around. What could happen in 3 minutes?
Adrian Monk: Asphyxiation, cerebral hypoxia, gas embolism, epstein-barr.
Steven Albright: Mr. Monk, you know about this stuff than I do.
Adrian Monk: Why can't I do it from here? I'll just look in a window.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, it's a submarine. There are no windows.

Adrian Monk: Commander, sir?
Commander Nathan Whitaker: Yes.
Adrian Monk: You're obviously very busy turning knobs and up-periscoping. Why don't you just drop us off and we will be out of your hair. How about... Uh, right there, Seal Beach? Right there? We could take a taxi.
Natalie: No, actually, Fisherman's Wharf. It's a little bit closer. If it's not out of your way.
Adrian Monk: We could turn back around this way.
Commander Nathan Whitaker: We are not turning around for anything. This is a fleet-wide attack-submarine-warfare exercise. For all intents and purposes, this ship is at war. Do you understand that?
Adrian Monk: Oh, yes, okay. I... Yes, I get... How much do you want? She'll pay 'cause her father is loaded. You've heard of Davenport toothpaste? That's the one with the girl who...
Commander Nathan Whitaker: I've finished talking. You are now the guests of the United States Navy until the completion of this exercise. Four, maybe five days.
Adrian Monk: D- Days? Comin' about! Blinker, blinker!
Commander Nathan Whitaker: What's he doing?
Adrian Monk: Comin' about! Blinker, blinker, blinker.
Commander Nathan Whitaker: That's the sonar. You're turning the sonar tower.

Lieutenant Disher: [answers phone] This is Disher.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, Randy, it's me. Adrian Monk. I need you to I need you to research a possible murder victim.
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, sure, what's the name?
Adrian Monk: Okay, he's a Lieutenant Commander. Jason Pierce. Talk to his family, see what they think. Maybe he kept a diary or some sort of log.
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, I'll get right on it. Where are you?
Adrian Monk: I'm on a submarine. The USS Seattle.
Lieutenant Disher: [chuckles] Yeah, seriously.
Adrian Monk: We're underwater. Periscope depth. Water temp, 46 degrees. Speed, 50 knots. Relative bearing two-five-niner.
Lieutenant Disher: You're on a submarine?
Adrian Monk: Roger that.
Lieutenant Disher: How you doin'?
Adrian Monk: Fine, I'm fine. I'd be going crazy if Dr. Bell wasn't here.
Lieutenant Disher: Dr Dr. Bell's there? How did he get on the submarine?
Adrian Monk: Well, hold on. Look, I'll let him tell you. He's right here. [to air] It's Disher. Yeah, I work with him.
Lieutenant Disher: [after a long silence] Monk?
Adrian Monk: I know, right?
Lieutenant Disher: Hey, Monk? Monk?
Adrian Monk: Can you believe it? That's a true story.
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, uh-huh. Is there anyone else there I can talk to?