Captain Stottlemeyer: I brought you some water and some dry clothes.
Adrian Monk: Where- Where's everybody else?
Captain Stottlemeyer: They're looking for your body. They found your jacket about two miles south. That should keep them busy for a while. Hey, not too shabby for somebody who can't swim.
Adrian Monk: Well, I was highly motivated. What should I do now?
Captain Stottlemeyer: You don't do anything. You're a dead man. You disappear. I'm gonna poke around a bit and see if I can't figure out what's going on. Whatever it is, it's big. Scary big.
Adrian Monk: You think I can-
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, you cannot call Natalie. You cannot call Dr. Kroger. How could you call them if you don't exist? Monk, they want to lock you away, and they have the evidence to do it. And after this little stunt, they could put me away too. You better get going. There is a bus stop behind the gas station up on Silvertree.
Adrian Monk: Hey, thanks. Thanks for killing me.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Hey, that's what friends are for.

Larry: Rodriguez, how many times have I told you? It doesn't have to be perfect, hombre. You don't have to clean the inside of a cigarette lighter. Nobody cares about the inside of a damn cigarette lighter! Put it down! Rodriguez, the faster we work, the more money we make. Fast, more money. Slow, less money. Comprende? Good. 55, you're all set. Look, Rodriguez, it's not that complicated. Even you can understand. We get paid per car, get it?
Adrian Monk: Per car.
Carlos: Mr. Larry! Larry, relax. You're going to have another stroke. This guy's the best rag man I ever seen. Look at that car. It's better than new. It's like a diamond. When the owner sees it, he gonna love it. He gonna tell all his friends. He's gonna be a customer for life.
Customer: Well, it's about friggin' time. I've been waiting over there 20 minutes. You won't be seeing me again.
Adrian Monk: Have a nice day.
Carlos: Rodriguez, I'm warning you. I'm warning you!

Captain Stottlemeyer: [off Disher's question] What?
Lieutenant Disher: It's a good question. Why didn't you check it out?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Because I was busy. I was turning over rocks, trying to get a bead on that son of a bitch.
Lieutenant Disher: He just bought a second house in Catalina.
Captain Stottlemeyer: And a new BMW, and look at this. He's got two offshore bank accounts on a Sheriff's salary. Randy, this guy is dirty. I can smell him.

Carlos: What is it?
Adrian Monk: This one's been repainted. Recently. It used to be silver.
[flashback:]
Kathy: They're looking for a silver suv.
[present, Monk holds his hands out in front as he inspects the car:]
Carlos: Are you okay? What are you doing? Well, at least make it look like you're working.
Adrian Monk: I need you to look under the car.
Carlos: What?
Adrian Monk: Just behind this fender. Inside, tell me what you see. Check the axle.
Carlos: You're gonna get us both fired.
Adrian Monk: Right- Right behind this front wheel.
Carlos: [pulls out orange fabric] What are these?
[flashback:]
Kathy: A highway worker was killed.

Captain Stottlemeyer: [on the phone] You got anything else? Any pay stubs?
Natalie: No, no pay stub. I have a birthday card and an unpaid electrical bill. Wait. Okay, there's a check for $10,000 made out to Angel County Children's Center.
Captain Stottlemeyer: [to Disher] Angel County Children's Center.
Lieutenant Disher: No such animal.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Okay, that check is dirty. Who wrote it?
Natalie: The Xanadu corporation.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Xanadu corporation. No, "X."
Lieutenant Disher: Xanadu, a division of the Orpheum investment group. Yeah, which is controlled by the Blue Danube Foundation.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Blue Danube Foundation.
Lieutenant Disher: Which is owned by... Oh, my God.
Natalie: Who's Dale Biederbeck?

Natalie: How's he gonna do it? Remote control?
Adrian Monk: No, no. No, they would've set it off already. It must be on some kind of timer or... [dog barks]
Woman: What's wrong, boy?
Adrian Monk: Eureka.
Natalie: Excuse me?
Adrian Monk: Natalie, I just solved the case.
Natalie: Eureka?
Adrian Monk: No, no, no. I mean Eureka's a dog. She was wearing one of those shock collars with a little receiver. Look. There, there. There's a battery. It's wired to a transmitter that runs through that banner. The bomb must be hooked to one of those dog collars.
Natalie: Oh, my God. So when the car goes by the banner...

Captain Stottlemeyer: John Rollins, you're under arrest for murder and conspiracy to commit.
Lieutenant Disher: We know you're working for Biederbeck. We know you framed Monk.
Sheriff Rollins: Me? You're under arrest. Obstruction of justice, aiding and abetting. Arrest him!
Captain Stottlemeyer: No! I'm a Captain of the San Francisco Police Department! Arrest him!
Sheriff Rollins: He's out of his jurisdiction. Arrest him!

Lieutenant Disher: Natalie. Hey. How are you doing?
Natalie: I don't know. About the same.
Lieutenant Disher: These were out front. From Sharona.
Natalie: Wow, they're beautiful. Why don't you put them over there.
Lieutenant Disher: She and Benjy are gonna fly in for the service.
Natalie: It's funny. When he was alive, he always said he didn't have any friends.

Lieutenant Disher: Listen, Natalie, the Captain's out front. He'd really like to come in.
Natalie: No.
Lieutenant Disher: Natalie, he didn't have a choice. Monk fired the first shot.
Natalie: Don't tell me that. There's always a choice. He could have fired a warning shot.
Lieutenant Disher: That's not the way we're trained.
Natalie: You know what, how about shot him in the leg or not fired at all? God, I can't believe it.
Lieutenant Disher: I'm sorry.
Natalie: I can't believe he's gone.
Lieutenant Disher: I'm so sorry.

Captain Stottlemeyer: Randy told me that you rented out the Legion of Honor.
Natalie: Yeah.
Captain Stottlemeyer: And he also said that you took out a loan to cover the costs?
Natalie: Yeah, that's right.
Captain Stottlemeyer: It's just, I don't think you need to be so extravagant.
Natalie: You don't, huh?
Captain Stottlemeyer: No. In fact, I remember once, Monk told me, he said that if anything ever happened to him, he wouldn't want anybody to go into debt.
Natalie: I cannot believe you're saying that. He was your friend.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Nat, I'mjust trying to honor what he...
Natalie: No, no, no, no, no. He loved you. I mean, he really loved you, and you sit here... I changed my mind. I want you out of here. I'm going to ask you to leave, please.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Look, Natalie, you don't understand.
Natalie: Yeah, I don't. I'm sorry, Captain. Good-bye.