[After Juror #5 sneezes repeatedly behind Monk, Natalie leans over to hand Monk a wipe]
Judge Rienzo: What are you doing?
Natalie: He needs a wipe, your honor.
Judge Rienzo: Sit down, miss Teeger. Sit down. Now, if you interfere with the jury again, I will have you arrested for tampering and contempt, understand?
Natalie: Yes, sir. Sorry.

Housewife Juror: What are you doing?
Adrian Monk: I'm just making them even. So we can all concentrate. And not be distracted by uneven Venetian blinds.

Adrian Monk: I'm gonna need you all to be quiet.
Cobb: Yeah, you get quiet.
Teacher: Quiet!
Adrian Monk: I'm gonna walk around now. And pace back and forth. Then, when I'm ready, I'll tell you the solution. That's how it works.
Teacher: No. No way. You're not alone here. You have to talk to us. Tell us what you're thinking.
Adrian Monk: That's not how I do it. I have a system. It's a gift and a curse. Here's the thing, I don't like working with partners.
Foreman: Well, like it or not, you've got 11 partners now.

Adrian Monk: Natalie! Natalie!
Natalie: Mr. Monk, I brought your dinner! I'm gonna leave it downstairs!
Adrian Monk: Dumpster!
Natalie: What?
Adrian Monk: Dumpster! It's Natalie. There's a body in the dumpster!
Natalie: You want a hot toddy at Munster? I brought a cobb salad!
Adrian Monk: There's a body the dumpster!
Natalie: I just got the cobb salad!
Adrian Monk: What are you talking about?
Natalie: What are you talking about?
Adrian Monk: There is a dead body in the dumpster. Call Captain Stottlemeyer!
Natalie: Okay, wait, a body? Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Patel: We should not listen to this man. He is ruining America for everybody.

Escobar: Lieutenant, my nose itches.
Lieutenant Disher: Forget it.
Escobar: Ah, it doesn't matter. I'll scratch it myself soon enough.
Lieutenant Disher: Captain, he just said he gonna scratch his nose.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Okay.
Lieutenant Disher: The way he said it was like a threat.
Captain Stottlemeyer: He threatened to scratch his nose?

Pat: Number 11, I have to thank you. I had to keep everybody here in this room busy arguing for a day and a half. I wasn't sure how I was gonna do it, but you made it easy.
Adrian Monk: Don't mention it.
Sports Fan Juror: Why are you doing this?
Adrian Monk: She's helping her boyfriend escape. She had to have a way to get into this building.
Pat: How about a little privacy, huh?
Adrian Monk: Not even. It's not even.
Pat: Shut up!
Adrian Monk: It's not even.
Pat: I've been waiting a long time to do this.
Adrian Monk: It's not even.

Natalie: Mr. Monk, are you okay? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Mr. Monk, what happened? [Monk mumbles] What? Hold on. [Monk mumbles] What? What?
Adrian Monk: I was saying for the love of God, please don't rip off the tape!

Jury Clerk: Hello. Did everybody sign in? If I call your name, you are required to come back tomorrow morning at 9 A.M. and report to room 302. If you do not hear your name you are excused.
Adrian Monk: [to Natalie] Here it comes.
Jury Clerk: Adrian Monk!
Adrian Monk: There it is.

Judge Rienzo: Okay, next stand up.
Court Clerk: State your name.
Natalie: Uh, Natalie Teeger.
Court Clerk: Spell it.
Natalie: Oh, no, I wasn't called.
Adrian Monk: She's my assistant, your honor.
Judge Rienzo: And you are...
Adrian Monk: Adrian Monk. Capital A, small D, small R, small I, small A, small N. Space.
Judge Rienzo: Thank you, Mr. Monk. I think we have it.

Judge Rienzo: Whose phone was that?
Adrian Monk: It's hers, your honor, number 3. And she fell asleep. Yeah, you. Number 8, your honor.
Judge Rienzo: Nobody likes a tattletale, Mr. Monk.
Adrian Monk: I think number 9 is a tattletale.
Judge Rienzo: That'll do, Mr. Monk.