Adrian Monk: It's a monkey.
Lieutenant Disher: Actually, uh, he's a chimpanzee. His name's Darwin. He's 5 years old. He's been living with Mr. Blackburn since he was a baby. I mean a baby chimp. He was never a regular baby.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I don't understand. He's our suspect. He's the shooter.
Adrian Monk: I don't understand.
Captain Stottlemeyer: That chimp was alone in a locked room with the victim. We found a gun in his hand.
Adrian Monk: [turns to Sharona] I don't understand.

Adrian Monk: Do you, do you hear that?
Captain Stottlemeyer: What?
Adrian Monk: Listen. It's a pill dispenser.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Oh, yeah, she said that he was on antidepressants. Karen's got one of those. It's got a built-in alarm in it. It reminds her when to take the pills.
Adrian Monk: This one's set for 4:30 A.M., but you said the alarm went off at 5:09.
Captain Stottlemeyer: So why didn't he take his pills?
Adrian Monk: Why didn't he take his pills?

Captain Stottlemeyer: So what do you think? I mean, am I missing anything? Because I, I want to be sure before I go on television and utter the words "killer monkey."

Adrian Monk: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Help! Somebody! Oh, my I'm trapped in here. I'm trapped in here!
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, you're not trapped.
Adrian Monk: Captain!
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, just push this button here on the wall.
Adrian Monk: It's sound proof. Can you hear me?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, I can hear you.
Adrian Monk: I'm trapped in here!
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, I can hear you. I can see you. There's a hole in the door. Monk.
Adrian Monk: I'm running out of air.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, you're not running out of air, Monk. Monk.
Adrian Monk: I'm running out of air!
Captain Stottlemeyer: You're not running out of air. There's a-
Adrian Monk: I can't breathe!
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk. Monk!
Adrian Monk: I can't breathe!
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, you can breathe. There's a hole in the door.
Adrian Monk: No more talking.
Captain Stottlemeyer: [to the security camera] Monk, look at me. Monk, push the button.
Adrian Monk: No more talking!
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, look at me! Monk.
Adrian Monk: Help me! Got to conserve air.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, just push the button. Push, push, push the green button. Monk. The green button that says "open." No, the button here that says "open" by the door. Monk. [Stottlemeyer reaches in and hits the green button] That's a panic room.
Sharona: Adrian, are you all right?
Adrian Monk: I almost ran out of air.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, at least you didn't lose your head, and that's the important thing.

Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, they finally spelled my name right, the one time I wish they hadn't. I can't believe I let her talk me into this.
Adrian Monk: There are a few things that don't add up.
Lieutenant Disher: What? Footprints?
Adrian Monk: And the pill dispenser.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, there's always going to be a loose end or two. Lest we forget that the monkey and the victim were in a locked room alone.
Adrian Monk: There is that.

Sharona: Look, I called the San francisco zoo, and they don't think a chimpanzee can fire a handgun.
Lieutenant Disher: Of course he can. If you can peel a banana, you can fire a gun.
Sharona: What, are you an expert now?
Lieutenant Disher: Are you?
Sharona: More than you.

Captain Stottlemeyer: Hey, children, let's not fight in front of the monkey, okay? It's a legitimate question, and we're going to settle it once and for all right now. Lieutenant, give me that gun. Is it loaded?
Lieutenant Disher: No, sir. I emptied it myself.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Good. Okay. I'm going downstairs with our suspect. I'm going to hand him a gun, and we'll see what happens.
Sharona: Great. I'm going with you.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, Sharona, it's just me and Darwin. I'm trying to recreate the conditions in the panic room. I'm going to lock the door, and I'm not coming out until I'm satisfied. Let's go.

Captain Stottlemeyer: You think you're pretty cute, don't you? Hey, get your fingers out of your ears. I'm talking to you. I'm talking to you. Are you laughing at me? I said, are you laughing at me. I think you've got an attitude problem, my friend. Okay, opposable thumbs. Whoop-de-doo. Here, pick it up. Here you go. What do you think of that?

Adrian Monk: Sharona, you were there. He fired the gun.
Sharona: Yeah, but he didn't aim it. He didn't hit anything. Look, in the panic room, Ian Blackburn was shot four times. Four shots, four hits. There is no way Darwin could have done that. There's no way.
Adrian Monk: Maybe you're right.
Sharona: Okay, now, are you saying that because you agree with me or because you're afraid of me?
Adrian Monk: I'm saying that because I'm afraid of you.

Kurt Wolff: Hey, good choice. That's the Ultra4000. The strongest safe in the world. Hi, I'm Kurt Wolff. Welcome to Wolff Security.
Sharona: Oh, thank you, thank you. I'm, I'm Sharona, and this is Adrian monk.
Kurt Wolff: Hi, how are you? All right, well, what can I do for you guys today? We've got everything you'll need to sleep a little easier at night.
Adrian Monk: Oh, I doubt that.