Adrian Monk: By the way, I found your monkey.
Sharona: Oh, God, I'm sorry about that. Look, I'll help you clean it up.
Adrian Monk: Nah, I'll be fine. I've got 17 maids in there working on it.

Captain Stottlemeyer: [all whisper] Shh! He's going to hear us. We're on a stakeout.
Sharona: Look, so, so what's going on? They let me out, but they didn't tell me anything.
Lieutenant Disher: You were right about the chimp. He wasn't involved at all.
Adrian Monk: You were right about Chloe, too. She had a lover. They were in on it together. They killed her husband.
Sharona: Now, are you sure?
Adrian Monk: There was a witness.
Lieutenant Disher: Your new boyfriend Darwin.
Adrian Monk: Actually, Darwin solved the case. Yesterday at my apartment, my landlord came in. Darwin went berserk. Then I remembered he acted the same way on Monday when he saw the animal control officer. The two men have something in common. They're both bald.
Sharona: Bald.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Darwin is afraid of bald men.
Adrian Monk: Why wouldn't he be? Ian Blackburn was killed by a bald man, and Darwin saw it happen.
Sharona: A bald man, the security guy. Kurt Wolff.
Adrian Monk: The man who built the panic room.
Lieutenant Disher: When he installed it, he built a secret crawl space. It goes from the basement to the panic room.
Captain Stottlemeyer: There's a secret panel behind the furnace. We found it last night. Excuse me, would you stop pointing that in my face?
Adrian Monk: But you're talking.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You can hear me talking. You don't need to see me talking. You know it's me. Thank you.

Sharona: So why?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Love and money, the oldest motive in the world. Chloe met Wolff when he was doing security for her, and they hooked up, as the kids would say.
Lieutenant Disher: The divorce would have cost her $10 million.
Sharona: So they were planning this for, like, a year?
Adrian Monk: Exactly. Kurt didn't build the panic room to protect Ian Blackburn. He built it to kill him.
Captain Stottlemeyer: The plan was to make it look like a suicide.
Adrian Monk: It was a brilliant plan. That night Wolff snuck into the panic room. He set the test alarm button, so the alarm rang, but only inside the house. That's how he lured Ian into the panic room. The plan was for Ian to be found dead the next day in a locked room.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Everybody would think that he killed himself. There would be no other explanation.
Lieutenant Disher: It was a perfect plan.
Adrian Monk: Not quite perfect. They didn't count on one thing.
Sharona: Darwin.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Darwin must have grabbed for the gun, and there was a struggle.
Adrian Monk: Ian was shot four times, twice in the back.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Their suicide story wasn't going to fly.
Sharona: So he framed Darwin?
Adrian Monk: Well, it was a long shot, but what else could he do? Of course, now he had to explain what Ian was doing in the panic room, so as he left, he broke a window to make it look like a burglar had tried to get in.
Captain Stottlemeyer: And that's how we found it. Broken window, killer monkey.

Man: Mr. Monk, he's trying to say something to you.
Adrian Monk: No, that's okay. We got to go. [Darwin licks Monk's face] No, no, no, no. Wipe. Wipe, wipe. God. Worse than jail goo.