Sharona: Do you have a copy of the case file?
Lieutenant Disher: No, not an extra one.
Sharona: We're supposed to have a copy.
Lieutenant Disher: Can I ask you something? Why are you even here?
Sharona: We're here because the victim was a friend of the mayor's.
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, I know. They were golfing buddies.
Sharona: Well, I guess His Honor wanted to make sure you didn't screw everything up.

Adrian Monk: I really needed to be here from the beginning.
Sharona: Adrian, Adrian, that is not true.
Adrian Monk: There must have been a dozen cops through here.
Sharona: Adrian, you promised the mayor. Okay, look at look at me and stay calm. Okay? You're the best.
Adrian Monk: There was a struggle. The victim was stabbed.
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, that's right. How do you know he was stabbed? I mean, he could've been shot.
Adrian Monk: No. You can smell gunpowder residue in a room this size for four days.
Lieutenant Disher: You can?
Sharona: He can.

Adrian Monk: I want to talk to this Grayson.
Lieutenant Disher: Okay. But I should tell you, Captain Stottlemeyer's not very happy you're on the case.
Adrian Monk: Did he say something?
Lieutenant Disher: He didn't have to. I've been working with him for four years now. I know him. You pick up little signs.

Captain Stottlemeyer: How am I doing, Monk?
Adrian Monk: Fine.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Oh, if you talk to the mayor, tell him thanks very much for this vote of confidence.
Lawrence Grayson: You can't just barge in here. And rip my house apart. How do I know I'm gonna get this stuff back?
Lieutenant Disher: You'll get a complete inventory when we're through.
Lawrence Grayson: Oh, yeah? I'm calling my lawyer.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Your lawyer's dead, sir. That's why we're here.

Monica Waters: That dog of yours is a public menace. It's never on a leash, and every kid in the neighborhood is frightened to death of it.
Lawrence Grayson: Don't give me that. This is a champion show dog right here, and it's bred for temperament.
Monica Waters: Oh, right, right. I'll try to remember that when I have to unfasten his jaw from my leg!
Adrian Monk: Excuse me. This dog is no show dog.
Lawrence Grayson: What are you saying?
Adrian Monk: Show dogs have to be purebred. This is not a pure Rottweiler. You can tell by the paws. They're... They're too big.
Lawrence Grayson: The paws are too big?
Adrian Monk: They're too big.
Monica Waters: My hero.

Adrian Monk: When was it built?
Monica Waters: Two years ago.
Adrian Monk: That's about the time your husband moved out?
Monica Waters: How did you know that?
Adrian Monk: Pachysandra under the basketball net. About two year's worth.
Monica Waters: Wow. That's twice you've impressed me. A new world record.

Monica Waters: He's a detective?
Sharona: A private consultant.
Monica Waters: Is he married?
Sharona: No.
Monica Waters: He's wearing a wedding band.
Sharona: He thinks about his wife a lot. You know, she's deceased.
Monica Waters: Oh. He's "germaphobic"?
Sharona: Yep.
Monica Waters: With classic obsessive-compulsive tendencies.
Sharona: How did you know that?

Monica Waters: Okay, then I have a question for you. Sharona said after your wife died, you never left the house.
Adrian Monk: That's not true. I went outside to get the paper twice.
Monica Waters: And now you're a famous detective.
Adrian Monk: Oh, far from famous.
Monica Waters: The other cops certainly respect you. The mayor calls you and depends on you. You're obviously out of the house. How did you do it?
Adrian Monk: Captain Stottlemeyer was worried about me, and he hired a nurse to take care of me. She showed up one day and just never left.
Monica Waters: You got lucky. You found the right person. That's the secret, isn't it?

Sharona: So how did it go last night?
Adrian Monk: Fine.
Sharona: What did you talk about?
Adrian Monk: Mostly we talked about me. She-She kept asking me questions.
Sharona: Really?
Adrian Monk: Yeah. Yeah. I think maybe she's interested in me.
Sharona: Okay.
Adrian Monk: Is that impossible? That a woman like her could be interested in me? [Sharona is silent] Sharona.
Sharona: I'm thinking.

Sharona: Talk about nerve. He killed the guy, then shows up at the funeral.
Adrian Monk: I don't think he killed anybody. Did you get a look at that ring he wears? The guy was a Green Beret.
Sharona: So?
Adrian Monk: You saw the crime scene. It was a mess. That was a real struggle. It must have gone on for three minutes. How could a 65-year-old man fight off a former Green Beret?
Sharona: He didn't want to die.