‘We Need to Talk About Lily’
Season 10, Episode 14 - Aired January 30, 2019
After an exhaustive search, Phil thinks he's finally found a house that Pepper is happy with, if he can just bring himself to sign on the dotted line. Jay is worried when Stella needs surgery. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Cameron try to get closer to Lily by getting tickets to meet a famous vlogger.
Quote from Cameron
Cameron: I just want to see her smile.
Mitchell: Yeah, okay, I'm gonna text Ronaldo again. Hopefully he got us into that KimmyLoveandStuff party.
[aside to camera:]
Cameron: KimmyLoveandStuff is an Internet sensation that Lily loves.
Mitchell: Yeah.
Cameron: She tries on clothes, she cries about bullies and plastic.
Mitchell: Our whole family is obsessed with her. And that's the great thing about a tween girl having two gay dads. I mean, we... we love the same things.
Cameron: Cute guys, fashion, gossip.
Quote from Cameron
Mitchell: Oh, my God! Ronaldo, he got us in!
Cameron: Amazing. Okay, we have to get him a thank-you gift.
Mitchell: No, no, he owes you, okay? You gave him your bone marrow.
Cameron: Well, how could I not? He was still hungry, and I wasn't gonna eat any more of it.
Quote from Pepper
Pepper: So, here I am on an ordinary day in my new house everyone hates me for and I'm walking and I'm kvelling... And we're panting and we're schvitzing... And we're laughing and we're crying... And we're thinking.
[whispering] And I'm putting.
Phil: [whispering] So, you have an entire wardrobe in your car?
Pepper: Shh! ♪ And I'm playing and I'm singing ♪ ♪ And they're loving it ♪
Quote from Claire
Alex: This is a disaster!
Claire: What a fun way to enter a room.
Quote from Alex
Alex: Look, I really like being with Bill, and if I have to turn him down, that means the end of the relationship and all that great sex.
Claire: Really come out of your shell, haven't you?
Quote from Ronaldo
Ronaldo: Hello, total strangers. [laughs] Welcome.
Mitchell: Thank you so much for doing this, Ronaldo.
Ronaldo: If anyone asks who you are, say you were looking for the Garth Brooks book signing. They'll believe you because of your clothes.
Quote from Ronaldo
Ronaldo: [over headset] This is Ronaldo. Just pick it up, blow on it, and put it back on the tray.
Quote from Phil
Phil: So, are you ready to make an offer?
Pepper: I don't know, Phil.
Phil: Don't know what, Pep?
Pepper: I'm just not feeling it.
Phil: Oh.
Pepper: Maybe we should see some more houses?
Phil: No problemo. Um, did you want to look in another neighborhood or stay right here in [shouting] hell?!
Pepper: Aah! Oh! I beg your...
Phil: No, I beg. For God's sakes, buy this house. I've worked harder for you than any client in my entire career. [cellphone ringing] I don't know if you're indecisive, sadistic, or just plain crazy.
Quote from Ronaldo
Phil: [on the phone] Ronaldo. It's Phil Dunphy.
Ronaldo: Hello, Phil. I'm preparing a plate for a diva. Is everything okay?
Phil: Uh, actually, no. I lost my temper with Pepper when he told me he wanted to see more houses, and I've been calling to apologize, but...
Ronaldo: He's not picking up.
Phil: How did you know?
Ronaldo: It seemed the only possible conclusion to your sentence.
Phil: Oh.
Ronaldo: Phil, do you know the reason I stopped house hunting with Pepper?
Phil: Was it when that seller thought Pepper was your grandpa?
Ronaldo: He hasn't let me wear sunscreen since.
Quote from Phil
Ronaldo: [on the phone] I finally realized he wasn't going to buy a house.
Phil: Are you kidding? I've wasted hundreds of hours. I postponed hernia surgery. Why would he do that to me?
Ronaldo: He likes you. Most straight guys find Pepper annoying, but you're always so nice with him. I think he's afraid if he buys a house, he'll never see you again.
Phil: Really? Wow, it's so painful keeping everything inside.
Ronaldo: It's how he was raised.
Phil: No, my truss isn't working. I've got to schedule that procedure.