Phil: You guys are gone. We get an RV. Bam! Me, mama and our dog, Merlin, hit the open road.
Claire: No. I am not spending my golden years driving around an RV park, looking for a place to plug my house in. No. I am gonna go see the world.
Phil: Where do you wanna go?
Claire: I don't know, Phil. India. Africa.
Phil: Diarrhea. Diarrhea.

Haley: Wow. It sounds like you guys really need to start thinking about your future.
Phil: Are you just gonna put Merlin in a kennel when we're gone?
Claire: Okay, Phil, Merlin doesn't exist. And why do you want to get a dog to take care of so soon after the kids leave?
Phil: Well, I'm gonna need someone to love me, Claire.

Haley: And in the meantime, Mom, grandpa wants you to take over the business, but do you want that?
Claire: I-I guess I hadn't thought this far into the future.
Haley: And, Dad, are you just gonna keep selling houses? I mean, I don't want to blow your mind here, but you could still be a magician.
Phil: I could.

Phil: Oh, no. I left my wallet in the other coat.
Claire: I did not bring my purse.
Haley: It's fine, guys. I got this.
Phil: Honey, thank you.
Claire: Oh, thank you, sweetie.
Haley: I should probably drive, too, huh?

Cameron: Y-you know, for the record, we do have a lot to talk about.
Mitchell: Yeah, we just took a couple of topics off the table because we wanted to have a romantic date night.
Cameron: And it probably put too much pressure on it to be special, but the truth is, every day I spend with this man is special.
Mitchell: Oh, Cam! Oh, no, I'm the lucky one.

Katie: Are you guys married?
Mitchell: Oh, this May. But, basically, we've been married for years.
Cameron: Yeah.
Mitchell: I-I mean, is Cam everything that I dreamed of?
Cameron: Tread lightly, counselor.
Mitchell: Yes. Yes, he is. Because through all the compromises and negotiations and arguments and sometimes even boredom, I cannot picture my life without him.
Cameron: That's very sweet. I would've scooted past the boredom, but...

Brandon: This is the worst night of my life.
Mitchell: I'm sorry. But, I mean, um, a-at least now it's over. You can start to move on.
Katie: [on Cam's phone] I've been trying to picture my life without you. And you know what?
Cameron: S-stupid phone. It's a devil phone.

Jay: I was just coming to see you.
Shorty: Um, I left my jacket.
Jay: Oh! There it is! Come on in. Uh, Shorty, you know that stuff I said, uh-
Shorty: Yeah, I get it.
Jay: We're good, huh?
Shorty: Under the bridge. All right. I'll see you.

Jay: Shorty, wait. I need to say something to you.
Shorty: Yeah.
Jay: I want to thank you for all the great times we've had.
Shorty: Yeah. We, um... We had a lot of laughs.
Jay: Yeah. And you should know that, uh, you're my best friend. You know? Probably the best friend I'm ever gonna have.
Shorty: Jay, I mean, what are you doing to me?
Jay: This is hard for me. I'm just- I'm just trying to tell you how I feel.
Shorty: Well, I'm gonna tell you how I feel. I admire the hell out of you, Jay. I always tell Darlene, "That's a real guy." Self-made, stand-up, the kind of guy you want to be in a foxhole with.
Jay: Well, I'm not all that.
Shorty: Well, it's not like I've been in a foxhole.

Jay: I'm gonna miss you, Vincent.
Shorty: I'm gonna miss you, too.
Jay: I love you.
Shorty: I love you, too, Jay Bird.
Jay: I really, really do.
Shorty: You call me, okay?
Jay: Every day. Every damn day.
Gloria: If I'm being honest, this is a little girlier than I thought.