Gloria: Ay, Joe, what did you do?!
Miss Ford: Oh, it's not his fault. These cubbies were donated by a former parent who fancied himself a carpenter. I can't say who, but it is ironic that he couldn't use a hammer, and now we "can't touch this."
Gloria: You keep saying you can't say, and then you say.
Miss Ford: It's just nice to talk to adults.

Miss Ford: Oh, uh, we enroll at least a year out. And even then, there's a significant waiting list.
Jay: You're kidding.
Miss Ford: I'm sorry, Mr. Pritchett. Uh, you could try The Learnin' Barn.
Gloria: Ah, yes. That sounds very nice.
Jay: The Learnin' Barn sounds nice?
Gloria: Yes, in my village, only the richest kids were allowed to learn inside the barn.

Cameron: Mitchell, are you aware our daughter's eating a ketchup sandwich?
Mitchell: Good, she found something.
Cameron: So, you didn't go grocery shopping today.
Mitchell: I am gonna go, but after yoga. Hey- Hey, you should come with me, 'cause you seem really tense.
Cameron: Oh, well, maybe they have a five-minute class I could sneak in between football camp and driver's ed?

Cameron: Hey, Charlie? It's- It's, uh, Cameron. My husband Mitchell used to work for you.
Charlie Bingham: Oh! I remember you. Yeah, what a nice surprise.
Cameron: I know! Crazy!
[aside to camera:]
Cameron: Crazy like that fox I told Mitchell was chicken. [chuckles] Was it clear? I-I stalked Charlie.

Andy: Sorry to interrupt. I just want to get these to you. Here is the closing on Baywood.
Phil: Awesome.
Andy: And this is the Johnsons' offer, all set for signatures.
Phil: You've done a real Mitzvah, buddy.
Andy: I hope that's good.

Gloria: Thank you so much for making time for us today.
Erica: Oh, I'm sorry it took so long, but the faculty kind of scatters for the summer. I drove my van to Maine and planted beans.
Jay: Let me guess and killed a giant.

Jay: Joe, come back here.
Erica: Oh, it's okay. The chickens won't hurt him. They're used to the kids.
Jay: Chickens are part of this? We like to utilize the setting here in the hills, make nature a part of the experience. We sometimes see mice or raccoons or little squirrels.
Jay: You know they got traps for those kind of things.

Jay: We're out of here. She's a loon, letting kids call her "Erica" like they're poker buddies.
Gloria: We're too late for anywhere else.
Jay: If Bruce Willis can jungle-gym his way into that fancy school, then I can I don't know- I can cubbie my way in. They hate their cubbies? I'll make them new ones. Cubbies are nothing but little closets.

Gloria: Ay, but look at Joe. He loves it. He's chasing after the chickens. He even caught one. Huh. Oh, no! No! No, Joe! Let go! [to Erica] We will be very happy to pay for that chicken.

Charlie Bingham: How do you decide what to paint?
Mitchell: You know, I just see these images in my head, uh, things I want to see, places I want to go, uh, how much paint I have left. Um, sometimes I just tap into my emotions, and I see where that takes me. And you cannot imagine the sense of contentment.
Cameron: Imagine how much more satisfying it would be after a good day's work.
Charlie Bingham: You know, I came here to talk you into coming back to the company, but you're the most at-peace son of a bitch I've ever met, and I hired the Dalai Lama for a pool party.