Jay: Wheels? What, are you looking at cars already?
Luke: Pottery wheels. I have to pick a spring elective, and Dad thinks I should take ceramics 'cause lots of girls do.
Jay: You know what a lot of girls don't do? Guys who take ceramics. You got a wood shop at your school?
Luke: I can't really build stuff. I mostly take apart and apologize.
Jay: You got to know how to build things.
Luke: I can build suspense.
Jay: How?
Luke: Well, get this. ... Huh?
Jay: Garage. Now.

Alex: Hey, thanks for inviting us to this.
Mitchell: Oh, no problem. You know, I'm surprised that this particular foursome doesn't hang out more often, considering-
Alex: We're the cultured ones in the family?
Mitchell: I wouldn't say that. Outside of this group.

Manny: Did you know your father actually goes to the grocery store to buy books?
Mitchell: I did know that, yeah. I also know that the best way to get my sister to fall asleep is to-
Alex: Show her a movie with subtitles. Bonne nuit, mama.
Cameron: We should be nice and grateful that we have this day to spend together in our own private salon.
Manny: Don't tell my mom that. She'll show up and ask to get her roots done.
Cameron: Manny!
Mitchell: That's true.

Jay: We're gonna start by building a simple toolbox. First, I'm gonna show you how to cut the wood. [to Joe] I know you're a little young for this, Goober. Try to soak it all up.
Luke: What's this thing?
Jay: A table vise.
Luke: [singing to the tune of "Edelweiss"] Table vise, ta
Jay: No. I already went through this with Mitchell. That's what we're here to prevent.

Alex: How could a guy with so much pain create such hopeful imagery?
Manny: I certainly couldn't paint like that if my mother was dying of consumption. The last time she had a cold, I could barely arrange the flowers on the front table.

Mitchell: You know what I found so interesting? Was that the first painting and the last painting were so similar, and I think that that was intentional, a comment on the perpetual motion of life.
Alex: The first painting was the last painting. We walked in a circle.
Mitchell: Are you sure?
Alex: Yeah.

Claire: Ta-da.
Gloria: Claire, you look beautiful. You're glowing.
Claire: I'm not glowing. I'm sweating.
Gloria: Come on. Look at yourself in the mirror. Don't tell me that you don't feel gorgeous and special.
Claire: Wow. You're right. I am radiant. Oh, it's like I'm in a In a fairy tale or a dream. Oh!
Gloria: Lies! You're faking it.
Claire: Well, I'm sorry! Look who raised me. I am my father's daughter. And also kind of his son. And I lied about that being Luke's shirt. I bought it for myself in three colors. I am trying to help you out here, Gloria, but this just isn't me.

Mitchell: [on the phone] What sort of princess?
Claire: The kind that dances with beasts and won't marry Gaston.
Mitchell: Really?
Claire: It's the only dress she likes.
Cameron: What?
Mitchell: Lily wants to come to the wedding as Belle.
Cameron: Makes sense. She went to Pepper's seder as "Dora the Explorer".
Mitchell: I- It's fine.
Claire: Are you sure?
Mitchell: Yes. Yes. A- As long as she's happy. A gay wedding is hardly the place to stop someone from being who they want to be.

Cameron: Hey, what are you doing out here?
Manny: You guys invited us so we could spend the day together. It felt wrong that you two are out here and I was in there all alone with Alex.
Mitchell: Couldn't keep up, could you?
Manny: She knows everything. She made a docent cry.
Cameron: It's okay. We're faking it, too.
Manny: Well, duh.

Alex: What's Andy doing here?
Haley: They're making a video for his girlfriend.
Alex: Yeah? What's it called, "Dorks in Space"?
Haley: Oh, it was actually sweet. It's weird. There's something about him. You know what I mean?
Alex: Yeah, he's just like Dad.
Haley: Ew, ew, ew!