Cameron: You know, I don't know how we all feel about the afterlife, but I myself would like to imagine Dede surrounded by loved ones, hearing...
Doorbell: Welcome to hell! [laughs evily]
Phil: I'll disconnect that doorbell.

Jay: Look, I know that your mother and I had our differences, but she was a good woman.
Claire: Yeah.
Jay: She, uh... Yeah, she had great legs.
Mitchell: Oh. Really? That's your tribute?
Jay: Of course not. She was very educated, as she often told me. She, um...uh... She... [stammers]
Claire: I can't watch this. It's like watching a fish panic at the bottom of a boat.

Luke: I don't know why I thought getting this out would help.
Lily: What is that?
Alex: Nana had these little statues of herself made. They were her Christmas gift to each of us.
Lily: Now I feel better about my stupid well in Africa.

Alex: Hey. Hitting that candy pretty hard. You didn't even take the wrapper off the last one.
Haley: I'm sad. Shut up.
Luke: I heard that if you die on Halloween, you come back as a zombie. I can see that. Nana would be all, "Brains!" [turns to Haley, sniffs] Nope. [turns to Alex] "Brains!"

Claire: You okay?
Mitchell: Yeah, I was just thinking about this great Halloween with Mom.
Claire: Oh.
Mitchell: I wasn't really fitting in in high school, so Mom took me to go get ice cream at this place i-in West Hollywood. And the parade was going on. And before that, I had never been to a gay event.
Boy: Trick or treat!
Claire: Here you go. Happy Halloween.
Mitchell: The thing is, she didn't force me to talk about it. She just let it be. You know? And I-I think that that was her way of saying that she was okay with me.

Both: Heyyy.
Phil: Uh, heard some raised voices, just making...
Claire: Where have you guys been?
Mitchell: Yeah, I don't know if you've noticed, but we're kind of going through something today.
Cameron: Well, you s-said you wanted some space, so we were giving you...
Claire: So now you're gonna logic us to death?
Mitchell: Yeah, yeah, 'cause that's what we need right now.

Jay: This can't be happening.
Cameron: Ohh.
Phil: Aw, Jay, it's a hard day.
Jay: Tell me. I put a sandwich in there with my name on it 10 minutes ago, and now it's missing. Who the hell took it?!
Cameron: Really? On a day like today, you can get this worked up over a sandwich?
Jay: Come here.
Phil: Yeah. Hey.
Cameron: It's okay.
Phil: You're smelling us.
Jay: I smell guilt and pickles.

Alex: People said she was difficult, but she was an amazing woman who didn't conform to anyone's idea of who she should be.
Bill: There are a lot of photos of her being escorted out of places.
Alex: Yeah. [chuckles]
Bill: Well, it must feel good to know that... I mean not good. Everything must feel bad. I'm sorry. I'm bad at this whole death thing. And I see a lot of it at work. I mean, nobody ever feeds the station goldfish.

Alex: It's not just hard for you. My brother can't stop cracking jokes, my sister's eating like a bear about to hibernate, and meanwhile, I'm just sitting here thinking, "Wow, you're here one second, and then poof... you're not."
Bill: I know how sad you must be.
Alex: Take off your shirt.
Bill: What?
Alex: Fine. I'll run things.

Claire: Do you remember when, um, she wouldn't pay for my voice lessons because she said she wanted to save the money in case I ended up with Dad's nose?
Mitchell: You know, we... We could stick to nice stories today.
Claire: Mom was a real person. She was flawed. She made me wear pants to prom. She said it would "slow down" whatever mistake I was about to make.