‘Did the Chicken Cross the Road?’
Season 10, Episode 7 - Aired November 7, 2018
After Cameron worries he has lost touch with his country roots, he decides the house needs a barnyard animal. Alex is up for a government job and is nervous about her family being interviewed for clearance. Meanwhile, Haley and Dylan wonder whether it's time to act more like adults.
Quote from Cameron
Cameron: I know having a chicken isn't your dream. But if it makes you feel any better, I think I know who I am again.
[aside to camera:]
Cameron: A person who hates chickens! They are filthy and beyond stupid. The moment I can find the receipt, I am returning that chicken. But I'm not gonna let Mitchell know because, like that vile bird, I made a big stink.
Quote from Cameron
Cameron: Oh. We're out of chicken feed again? I have a meeting at the school today with the homecoming committee. If polling is correct, the new queen is gonna be in a wheelchair, and we already blew our ramp budget on a balloon drop, so could you maybe...
Quote from Mitchell
Mitchell: [aside to camera] I've never really felt a connection to animals, but there's just something about that chicken. The soulful eyes, the nervous movements, the cute little splash of red on top. She's just likeable. Plus, I love going to that feed store. T-The second I walk through the door, I'm one of them.
Quote from Mitchell
Mitchell: Did I leave that unlatched? Oh, God. Hennifer? Hennifer?!
Quote from Jay
Gloria: Okay, purple, let's go! Joe, Finn, Clyde up front! Lucas, Dylan, Chad in the back! Estefan, in goal!
Jay: I'm guessing that Estefan is the kid who lives out of the district? His legs are hairier than mine, and I think he was wearing a wedding ring.
Quote from Phil
Phil: Luke, your label for me was spot on. I am a Dreamer. No, worse, I'm a... I'm a patsy, a mark, a full-on sucker!
Quote from Phil
Phil: Save it, Claire. You think of me what everyone thinks of me. I'm a rube, a pigeon, a greenhorn.
Quote from Claire
Haley: Okay, Dylan. Let's get you changed and lose the hat. It's rude to block people's views where we'll be spending our afternoon... at an adult theater.
Claire: Huh.
[Haley removes Dylan's hat]
Claire: I mean, we all knew there was gonna be a third one, right?
Phil: I didn't!
Quote from Mitchell
Mitchell: Where's the body?
Cameron: Um, dragged off.
Mitchell: Well, then she could still be alive! W-We have to look for her. Okay. G-Grab her favorite squeak toy.
Cameron: Okay, well, which... which one? Squirrely Temple or Lionardo DiCaprio?
Mitchell: It's like you don't even know her.
Quote from Claire
Claire: Phil, look. I'm really sorry I lied to you about the hats. But in all fairness, you do have a tendency to...
Phil: This again? How I can't throw anything away?
Claire: We have 100 episodes of "Hoarders" on DVR in case you want to watch them again.