‘Commencement’
Season 10, Episode 21 - Aired May 1, 2019
Cameron faces challenges as he is put in charge of the high school graduation ceremony, with Jay giving the commencement address.
Quote from Cameron
Cameron: Students, hi! When you hear your name, please proceed to the stage and grab your diploma. Nelly Abrishami, Allison Acosta, Frieda Alafary, Scott "The Skunk" Albanese, Jessica Alenick, Richard Thompson Allen, Lavaria Aminu, Larry Annecone, Darla Arleto, Daniel Dey Aronson...
[aside to camera:]
Cameron: I was gonna make it! And then, I hit the Polish names.
[flashback:]
Cameron: Czeslaw Wlodaryzack-ck-kowsky. Wladyslaw Wlod... nisky?
Quote from Dylan
Dylan: How lucky is that? Me cruising by with an Uber fare right when you called.
Claire: So lucky.
Mitchell: Very lucky.
Dylan: Well, this is you, Gerald. Let's have today be the day you stop playing for your dad and start playing for Gerald.
Quote from Manny
Manny: I suppose where you grew up, bending the rules was just a part of life. It's what you had to do to get by. Why wouldn't you do that to help the people you love?
Gloria: Thank you, Manny.
Manny: You're not welcome. That's not how I feel. I-It's a speech from a play I was in. Right after that line, I light up a cigarette and put my clothes back on. Yeah, I'm good, but... now I'll never know if that's why I made the cut.
Quote from Jay
Jay: I got this! Alex, "I never knew true strength until..." "I met a man with no feet." Wait. No. These cards are not in order. Wait. Nobody help her right now.
Quote from Gloria
Gloria: Alex, you're a smart, confident girl. I know that you're gonna make the right decision.
Alex: Did you just put this watch on me?
Gloria: I have a problem.
Quote from Luke
Luke: I say if Alex doesn't want to go to her graduation, that's her decision.
Alex: Thank you, Luke.
Luke: As long as you know that whatever's going on here isn't about math.
Haley: Yeah, I think maybe you're afraid to leave school.
Alex: What?
Haley: Your whole life, you've always known exactly what you're supposed to do... study, get good grades, repeat. Now that's over, and it's scary. Kind of like if zero equaled 1.
Luke: But lucky for you, your dummy brother and sister have spent time in the real world. And if we can handle it, you're gonna do just fine.
Quote from Jay
Jay: I still can't get over that commencement speech. Not a single laugh. I'll tell you one element he didn't discover, hilarium.