‘A Stereotypical Day’
Season 8, Episode 2 - Aired September 28, 2016
Jay worries about giving the African-American family across the street the wrong impression when he installs security cameras the same day they move in. Following his trip to Mexico, Manny has taken up the cause of communism to impress a girl. At the Pritchett house, Alex is home with a case of mono but her family members are all using her illness to their advantage. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Cameron worry they've not set the best example of tolerance and understanding for Lily after they hear her insulting a new friend.
Quote from Phil
Haley: I will drive you, sweetie.
Phil: Alex, no. Stop! Stay! How do you ask a human not to go, again?
Quote from Alex
Haley: Breaks my heart. I should quit my job and nurse her back to health.
Alex: You got fired, didn't you?
Quote from Claire
Claire: [aside to camera] Alex had to take the semester off. was disappointed 'cause she was disappointed, but I was also kind of happy to have her home a little longer.
Alex: Aww.
Claire: Mask!
Quote from Jay
Gloria: Jay, what are you doing? Come to bed.
Jay: I've got these new state-of-the-art cameras. I thought I'd review the day, see how many times our neighbor glared at us.
Gloria: Wait a second. Is that Manny licking cupcake wrappers from the trash?
Jay: I knew he'd fold. Ah, the vigor. It's almost pornographic.
Gloria: Are these cameras everywhere?
Jay: Yeah. That's the garbage area. Then we got the backyard, front door. Go inside. Wait. That's Joe peeing in the corner, not Stella.
Gloria: That's it. He lives outside now. Come. We'll watch him from the cameras.
Jay: Hold on. You have a problem. I'm gonna get you one of those rubber remotes they put in nursery schools and insane asylums.
Gloria: Thank you.
Quote from Lily
Cameron: Hey, Lily. Can you hang back a second?
Lily: I shouldn't. Linda says being late is wiggity-wack.