‘A Stereotypical Day’
Season 8, Episode 2 - Aired September 28, 2016
Jay worries about giving the African-American family across the street the wrong impression when he installs security cameras the same day they move in. Following his trip to Mexico, Manny has taken up the cause of communism to impress a girl. At the Pritchett house, Alex is home with a case of mono but her family members are all using her illness to their advantage. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Cameron worry they've not set the best example of tolerance and understanding for Lily after they hear her insulting a new friend.
Quote from Jay
Jay: Where are your keys? I need the jumper cables.
Gloria: What happened?
Jay: I spent the last hour in my car, listening to the Commodores with my windows down, and the neighbors didn't even come outside.
Gloria: That must be your good friends the Harlem Globetrotters.
Quote from Jay
Mitchell: Gloria invited us to sit by the pool till we have to pick up Lily at hip-hop.
Jay: My Asian granddaughter takes a hip-hop class? Why are we not talking about this in the front yard?
Quote from Haley
Haley: [aside to camera] Was I the kind of person who would send her sick sister back to school just to keep her from figuring out I got fired? Did I use her laptop to get through community college?
[flashback:]
Haley: Let's get you back there. It's Friday night. Maybe there's a party you can listen to.
Quote from Jay
Jay: Excuse me.
Shawn: Hello.
Jay: I don't mean to bug you. You're just moving in. I'm right across the street. Listen.
Shawn: Let me stop you. You had the cameras scheduled, worried about how it would look, brought your black friend out, blasted Commodores. [laughs] It's not my first time moving into a white neighborhood. We're good.
Jay: Yeah?
Shawn: I did my residency in New Hampshire.
Quote from Haley
Haley: It's going to be so exciting to get back to all that science stuff again. You know, beakers, calculators, ray guns.
Quote from Cameron
Mitchell: Cam?
Cameron: Oh, I just wanted to tell her how proud I was of how she handled herself today, but she's already asleep.
Mitchell: Well, you can tell her in the morning, okay?
Cameron: Oh, by the way, I found an article online about a family of Montenegrin art restorers-
Mitchell: Let it go, babe.
Quote from Luke
Haley: [aside to camera] How did I spend my summer vacation? I got over my breakup with Andy.
Luke: I got a job at Grandpa's country club.
Alex: I got mono.
Haley: Too close!
Luke: Put your mask on!
Quote from Claire
Alex: No one misses two weeks at Caltech and catches up. What am I gonna do?
Claire: Well, honey, I think you need to focus on getting a little bit stronger, a little bit healthier and just a little farther.
Quote from Phil
Phil: [laying out tictacs] Monday lunch, Monday dinner. [voice breaking] Tuesday breakfast, Tuesday lunch.
Quote from Phil
Phil: Welcome home. Open house went great. Lots of interested buyers. Fun fact: Some stranger, probably a long time ago, wrote their last will and testament right here on your wall. [taking a jug] Trust me on this.