‘Hal's Christmas Gift’
Season 6, Episode 6 - Aired December 19, 2004
After Lois gets into a road rage incident, the family's Christmas budget is wrecked so they decide to make their own presents this year. After seeing the kid's great gifts, Hal can't bear to give them the presents he strung together.
Quote from Malcolm
Malcolm: [to camera] So we had our Christmas feast of oatmeal and hot dog buns. Since then, we've been waiting three hours for Dad to come out of the garage.
Lois: What is taking him so long?
Quote from Malcolm
Malcolm: What are you talking about?
Dewey: Nothing you'd be interested in.
Malcolm: You don't know that. If it's interesting to you guys, it's gonna be interesting to me.
Reese: We were wondering what nose hairs smell like.
Malcolm: Well, that's very interesting!
Quote from Malcolm
Malcolm: Here, Mom. Here, Dad.
Lois: Oh, my God, it's a clock.
Hal: You made this?!
Malcolm: I read up on all-wood clocks and then borrowed the tools from wood shop. See the gears? They make different patterns as they turn.
Lois: Oh, I'm very impressed, boys. You all worked so hard on these gifts.
Quote from Hal
Lois: It's your father's turn to give something.
Hal: My gift isn't here.
Lois: Not here? What do you mean?
Hal: Well, we- we knew the boys would really come through with great gifts, and any present that top what they did can't be here can it?
Francis: [enters] Merry Chris- You started without us?
Reese: Dad's about to give us a really cool present!
Malcolm: Is it outside?
Hal: Let's find out.
Dewey: Like a treasure hunt?
Hal: [nervous giggle]
Quote from Hal
Malcolm: So, Dad, where is it?
Reese: Are we supposed to drive to it?
Hal: Yes. Yes! You guessed the first clue. [chuckles] Everybody into the van. Let's go!
Lois: Hal?
Hal: Merry Christmas, honey!
Quote from Hal
Reese: Are we there yet?
Malcolm: Yeah, where are we going?
Dewey: I know. We're going to Disneyland.
Hal: It's a thousand times better than Disneyland.
Dewey: Cool!
Quote from Malcolm
Malcolm: What was that?
Reese: A handshake.
Malcolm: [to camera] Now they've got some lame, third-grade secret handshake. I think I got half of it.
Quote from Dewey
Dewey: We love Dad!
Dewey & Reese: We love Dad! We love Dad! We love Dad! We love Dad!
Quote from Lois
Dewey: I can't wait much longer. Mom, is it really going to be as good as Dad says?
Lois: Dewey, I think you'll remember this day for a long time. I think we'll all remember this day for a very long time.
Quote from Hal
Piama: So are we getting close?
Hal: Now, now. You're not going to trick me into giving it away. It's a surprise.
Lois: [whispers] Hal, you are five miles from your point of no return.