‘Halloween Approximately’
Season 2, Episode 2 - Aired November 8, 2000
After Francis misses Halloween and returns from military school a week later, the boys terrorize the neighborhood with a catapult. Meanwhile, Hal tries to deal with a car that keeps speeding down the street.
Quote from Hal
Lois: You can't steal his car.
Hal: I'm not stealing his car. I'm just taking it elsewhere for a while. It'll teach the kid a lesson.
Lois: No, Hal.
Hal: I'm putting the key in the lock.
Lois: No, Hal.
Hal: I'm opening the door.
Lois: No, Hal.
Hal: I'm getting in the car.
Lois: No.
Hal: I am turning on the engine.
Quote from Lois
Lois: This is crazy. You can't just take a person's car. There are laws!
Hal: Serious engine. He must have bored out the cylinders in this puppy.
Lois: Pull over.
Hal: Remember that Maverick I used to have?
Lois: I don't want to talk about your old muscle car. [both gasp]
Hal: Scared?
Lois: Of course I'm scared. You've turned into a crazy person. Do it again.
Quote from Lloyd
Lloyd: Listen, you idiot. The optics on the Newtonian reflector don't even approach a Schmidt-Cassegrain. It's a nice century. Why don't you join it?
Dabney: Shrine burn center; admitting Kyle.
Stevie: Ladies... the stars?
Lloyd: He's right. Why squabble when we have the Leonids?
Quote from Malcolm
Reese: I love you so much.
Malcolm: I can't believe the power of this thing. If it was to fall into the wrong hands...
Dewey: I see an old lady.
Malcolm & Reese: Reload! Reload!
Quote from Dabney
Eraserhead: Angle: 47.9 Degrees.
Stevie: Check. Brakes locked.
Lloyd: This is for all the times I've been called "butt-tweefer."
Dabney: Fire!
Quote from Malcolm
Francis: Well, they won't even let us surrender honorably. Boys, it's time to run away like cowards.
[A projectile knocks the ladder down from the roof.]
Malcolm: [to camera] Well, there is some comfort in knowing what the next two hours of my life are going to be like. Huh. Look. A shooting star.
Quote from Hal
Hal: Well, I'm thinking about this much more clearly now.
Lois: Yeah, I think we both are, Hal.
Hal: I guess Mexico's not really an option.
Lois: No, I don't think so.
Hal: No.
Lois: It would have been fun, though.
Hal: Oh, yeah.
Lois: So, what do we do now?
Hal: [sighs] Well, I assume the car has been reported stolen already. And we've probably... left our share of DNA evidence in here.
[later, Hal and Lois push the car into a lake]
Hal: It's only a 30-mile walk. We'll get home for breakfast. You know, I'm glad we didn't run away.
Lois: Yeah. Me, too.
Hal: What was my name again?
Lois: Raul, baby.