Dewey: Vacation?! Which part of this is vacation? Arm-rolling the tires for six hours, or scraping the dead bugs out of the grill with a toothbrush?

Anita: What's the matter?
Malcolm: Nothing. I'm happy. Really, really happy.
Anita: No, there's something the matter, but I just can't pin it down.
Malcolm: Nothing's wrong. You go do your re-birthing whatevers, and we'll get together later.
Anita: Contempt. That's it.
Malcolm: What are you talking about?
Anita: You have contempt for me, and for what I do.
Malcolm: No, no, not at all. [to camera] I should really just keep my mouth shut for the next five seconds. [to Anita] Four, three I mean, it is a pretty silly ritual, but I guess I don't see any real harm in it.
Anita: You know, I have a lot to do today and I think you should probably go.
Malcolm: No-
Anita: Good-bye, Malcolm.

Woman: Okay, Lois, you can open your eyes now.
Lois: Oh, my gosh. This is fantastic. Oh I wish there was a JC Penney nearby. I'd love to get wallets of this.

Reese: What? What did I do?
Nate: Come with us.
Reese: Wait. I want my lawyer. He's the naked guy in the buffalo head.
Nate: It's okay, Reese, you're not in any trouble. We want you to be the torchbearer for the big Burning Man ceremony.
Reese: You do?
Nate: Absolutely. I can't think of anyone who has embraced and embodied the spirit of the festival more than you have.
Reese: Really? Wow. Hey, don't say anything to my lawyer, okay? I don't want to have to give him a piece of this.

Nate: I got to tell you, man, you've been fantastic.
Reese: Thanks. What's this for?
Nate: What's it for? It's to set him on fire.
Reese: What?!
Nate: That's how we end Burning Man, man, by burning the man.
Reese: But it can't end. I don't want it to. For my first time in my life I've been real, like I belong.
Nate: We've all been there, man. But it still has to end.
Reese: But why?
Nate: That's just the way it is. Look, it's cool if you don't want to...
Reese: Get back! Everyone just stay back! No one's burning Burning Man!

Anita: You re-birthed yourself, for me?
Malcolm: No. Well, yeah, originally, but something happened in there. I mean, I was able to open my mind and be accepting of something I didn't believe in. I've never been able to do that before. It's amazing, I actually feel like I've been reborn. It feels fantastic. And it's all thanks to you.
Anita: Oh, Malcolm. We can never see each other again.
Malcolm: What?
Anita: This can never work. You're just way to malleable. The condescending cynic, I could deal with, but this... I don't want you doing things just because I want you to do them.
Malcolm: Th-Th- Then I won't. If that's what you want. Crap.
Anita: I'm sorry, Malcolm. Life is a journey at you have to take on your own.
Malcolm: I've tried my own journey. It sucks. Please, please, please, just take me with you. I don't take up a lot of space.
Anita: You have to go now.
Malcolm: But- [to camera] Great. Who knew this life could be even crappier than the last one?

Hal: Get in the van, Reese. We're going home.
Reese: Dad, you gotta help me. They want me to burn Burning Man.
Hal: Oh, for crying out loud, just torch the bastard and we're out of here.

Reese: I still can't believe how awesome Burning Man was. Next year we're totally going back, right?
Lois: [whispers] Totally.
Malcolm: [to camera] Okay, so Burning Man didn't turn out as great as I thought it would. But I think I'll get over it a lot faster than Dad will. His boss really loved that RV.
Hal: Don't wait up. I probably won't be home until dawn again. Tonight I'm digging him a new septic tank. Come on, Dewey. First we gotta relocate the pet cemetery.