Trish: So, Marshall, are you ready to make a commitment to your body?
Marshall: Please, I'm all about committing to my body. I'll drive to Vermont and have a commitment ceremony to my body if you want. That was a weird thing to say.

Trish: All right. Start with 100 push-ups.
Marshall: All right, cool. How many do you want me to do?
Trish: A hundred.
Marshall: Oh, I thought that was a figure of speech, 100 push-ups, like, do a bazillion push-ups. No one can do 100.
Trish: Do you smell that?
Marshall: No.
Trish: It smells like there's a little bitch in my gym. Are you being a little bitch in my gym?
Marshall: No.
Trish: Then get on the floor and give me 100!
Marshall: You don't have to yell at me.

Robin: I love it here. It's just normal women who want to get in shape. I don't have to put on makeup, do my hair, wear some trendy outfit.
Ted: Yeah, this place is great. We're meeting our friend Robin here. I hope you don't hate her. She's pretty hot.
Robin: Shut up. Lily, tell him to shut up.
Lily: I'm sorry, lesbian prison guard, do we know each other?
Barney: Ted, Lily, you'll never believe what just happened. [to Robin] Oh, hey, dude, I'm Barney.

Barney: So I was at the smoothie bar...
[flashback:]
Rhonda: What can I get you?
Barney: Oh, my God, Rhonda? It's Barney. Barney Stinson from Staten Island Boulevard.
Rhonda: Hey, Barney Stinson from Staten Island Boulevard. What can I get you?
[back:]
Barney: I can't believe she didn't remember me.
Ted: Why? Who is she?
Barney: That's Rhonda. I lost my virginity to her.

Lily: Baby, are you still sore?
Marshall: Trish made me do 70 push-ups, but she only gave me credit for ten. Then she had me do 100 sit-ups and then she made me cry, using only her words.

Barney: It just doesn't add up. How could Rhonda not remember me?
Ted: Well, maybe it wasn't that good for her. I mean, it was your first time.
Barney: Ted, it's me. I rocked her world. You don't believe me? Okay, story time. The year was 1998.
[flashback:]
Barney: [v.o.] I'd been going out with Shannon since freshman year of college. We were saving ourselves. So when we broke up there I was, 23 and still a virgin. I knew nothing about girls. So I went to the guy who knew everything about girls my brother James.
[present:]
Robin: Wait, your gay brother James?
Barney: Yeah, this was before he was gay.

[flashback to 23-year-old Barney talking to his brother James, who is wearing a beer helmet and a football shirt:]
Barney: But, James, what woman's going to have sex with me? It's not like I'm a Backstreet Boy.
James: The Man Maker.
[flashback to young Barney and James playing cards with a blonde woman who's drinking a martini:]
Barney: [v.o.] Rhonda "Man Maker" French was our mom's friend from down the street.
Young Barney: Got any kings? Go fish.
Rhonda: So, Patty, know that new paperboy? I let him throw one into my hedges, if you know what I mean.
[later:
Rhonda: Did you see that new guy who cleans my pool? I let him snake my drain, if you know what I mean.
[later:]
Rhonda: You know that Chinese food delivery boy? I had sex with him. I don't have a funny way of saying it yet. It just happened 20 minutes ago.

Marshall: God, please let me stop!
Trish: Yes, great, let's stop. Let's just kick back and wait for the massive coronary you're going to have a couple years from now when you're 40.
Marshall: I'm... I'm 29.
Trish: 50 more!

Barney: You know, Rhonda, running into you really got me thinking about the old days. You were quite popular.
Rhonda: I sure got around back then.
Barney: And there was one young man who stood out above the pack.
Rhonda: Freddy Chibatoni. That kid had a tongue like a gecko.
Barney: No, no, I was thinking about someone else.
Rhonda: Chaz Alderman. Hips like a woman, but he knew how to use them.

Barney: What about me?!
Rhonda: You?
Barney: Yes. We slept together. And you said I was the best you ever had.
Rhonda: Did I? Oh, right. About that...
[flashback to a young James talking to Rhonda:]
James: And tell him that he's the best you ever had.
Rhonda: Oh, I don't know. He's just a kid.
James: No he isn't. He's 23 and he is really hurting, Rhonda. Please.
Rhonda: Maybe we could make a deal.
James: What? [laughs] No, girl, I got a girlfriend. Yeah, yeah, yeah, hers is the only vagina for me. Oh... I love it. It... it isn't scary at all.
Rhonda: Well, too bad. I guess your brother's going to stay a virgin.
James: [stutters] Fine. ... Reggie Jackson, Reggie Jackson, Reggie Jackson...