James Quote #15
Barney: What about me?!
Rhonda: You?
Barney: Yes. We slept together. And you said I was the best you ever had.
Rhonda: Did I? Oh, right. About that...
[flashback to a young James talking to Rhonda:]
James: And tell him that he's the best you ever had.
Rhonda: Oh, I don't know. He's just a kid.
James: No he isn't. He's 23 and he is really hurting, Rhonda. Please.
Rhonda: Maybe we could make a deal.
James: What? [laughs] No, girl, I got a girlfriend. Yeah, yeah, yeah, hers is the only vagina for me. Oh... I love it. It... it isn't scary at all.
Rhonda: Well, too bad. I guess your brother's going to stay a virgin.
James: [stutters] Fine. ... Reggie Jackson, Reggie Jackson, Reggie Jackson...
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘The Yips’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
[cut Barney and Ted at the gym:]
Barney: There goes one of my investments now. Cheryl, hard work's paying off. Keep up the good work.
Ted: So your investments... are women?
Barney: Women who, how shall I put this delicately? They fat. So, I come here, give them lots of attention now. Then when they get hot, who's the first guy they run to? The one who invested in them when they weren't.
Ted: Wow, I can't decide if I'm thoroughly disgusted or really, really impressed.
Barney: Of course, not all investments pay dividends. See the girl over there at the vending machine, Tonya. She is one Kit Kat away from junk bond status.
Becky: Hey, Barney.
Barney: Becky, elliptical machine's really working for you. Nice stuff. [to Ted] That one's going to reward shareholders soon. I foresee aggressive growth in my future. What up?
Quote from Barney
[flashback to 23-year-old Barney talking to his brother James, who is wearing a beer helmet and a football shirt:]
Barney: Of course. The Man Maker. And it'll be easier too, 'cause she knows me so well.
[later, Barney goes to Rhonda's house:]
Rhonda: Hi, Barry.
Barney: Barney. Hi, Ms. French. I know we haven't seen each other for a while, but if there was any chance...
[later, in Rhonda's bedroom:]
Rhonda: Oh, boy. You just rocked my world. That was the best sex I ever had.
[present:]
Barney: That was the night I was born. I rose like a phoenix from her mentholated bosom and strode into the world, Armani clad and fully awesome.
Quote from Barney
Ted: I wound up shame-eating the whole pizza. I woke up all greasy and sweaty. My sheets looked like what they wrap deli sandwiches in. Maybe I should join a gym. Do you go to a gym?
Barney: Well, I go to Total Rip Fitness, but I don't work out there.
Ted: What do you do?
Barney: I invest.