‘Noretta’
Season 7, Episode 7 - Aired October 24, 2011
After Kevin mentions that it's not unusual for people to seek out mates who are like their parents, the gang start to look at their relationships in different ways. Meanwhile, a string of unfortunate incidents threaten Barney and Nora's night as they are finally about to have sex.
Quote from Ted
Ted: Ooh! Date night. You know what? I'll just, just watch this in my room. Already had dinner in there, why not a movie?
Robin: You should join us.
Kevin: [sarcastically] Yeah, join us.
Ted: No! No, no, no, no, no. Three's a crowd. Besides, you guys wouldn't want to watch this anyway.
Robin: Try us.
Ted: Well, have you seen Die Hard?
Kevin: [excited] Um, yes.
Ted: Okay, the guy who played Argyle produced this documentary about coin collecting.
Quote from Robin
Robin: Hey, Ted, ever figure out who you're taking to that concert?
Ted: No. You want to go?
Robin: Sure.
Ted: Really? Awesome! It's a date!
Future Ted: [v.o.] Now, Kevin, as a trained psychologist, knew the appropriate way to voice his displeasure.
Kevin: I think we need to calmly discuss the relationship dynamics at play here. I'm uncomfortable with how close you two are as roommates, given your particular romantic history.
Future Ted: [v.o.] Instead, he took a different approach.
Kevin: Aw, hell no! If you can go on a date with my girlfriend, I don't have to wear pants in your apartment!
Quote from Lily
Marshall: I can't wait till this baby comes out so we can get started on another one. Then again, why wait?
Lily: Ew, wait... Get off of me! Damn it! Ever since Kevin said it's normal to wind up with your parents, I... I keep picturing you as my dad.
Marshall: Lily, that theory is crazy-town.
Lily: How do you know?
Marshall: Because my mother is six-foot-three, she buys her clothes at the drugstore, and she prefers to trap her own dinner. I love you more than anything, and you're nothing like her.
Lily: Aw. Now, that's how you turn a girl on.
Quote from Ted
Kevin: First, he tries scaring me off with his little peep show. Then he crashes our movie. Now, he's got tickets to
some super romantic concert.
Ted: It's Weird Al Yankovic.
Kevin: Okay. But still, who's the first person he asked to go with him? My girlfriend.
Robin: Oh, man. Okay. You think I'm the first person Ted asked? Ted, am I the first person you asked?
[flashback to Ted making a series of phone calls]
Ted: Marshall! You, me, Weird Al.
Marshall: No thanks, Ted.
Ted: Barney! I got two tickets to Weird Al Yan... [call disconnects] Barney?
Ted: Lily! Come on! You'll be the hottest girl there! Okay, you'll be the only girl there.
Ted: Stuart!
Ted: Claudia!
Ted: Brad!
Ted: Nat-alie!
Ted: Trudy!
Ted: Ranjit!
Ted: Carl the bartender!
Ted: Dude from my bodega!
Ted: Steam cleaning coupon guy!
Ted: Mom! Please? I'll fly you out.
Virginia Mosby: I don't think so. I'm sorry, sweet pea.
Ted: Is Clint there?
Virginia Mosby: No.
Quote from Ted
Ted: No, dude, I'm the biggest Weird Al fan.
Kevin: I know, I'm agreeing with you.
Ted: Do you know that I gave him the idea for "Like a Surgeon." Yeah. Yeah. I wrote him a fan letter, and then a few months later...
All: Bam! Top of the charts!
Ted: You guys can eat it. Just... eat it.
Quote from Barney
Lily: How'd it go with Nora?
Barney: Well, among other things, I realized Nora's a lot like my mom.
Lily: I'll bet that ruined things, huh?
Barney: [plays air guitar] Come on. Barney Stinson always turns it around.
Marshall: How?
Barney: Simple. I turned... it... around.
All: Oh...
Barney: Uh-huh? Uh-huh?
Marshall: So the mom thing wasn't a total deal breaker, huh?
Barney: No! Guys, my mom is the best person I know. If Nora's even the tiniest bit like her, I'm a lucky guy.
Quote from Ted
Woman: I'm sorry. Were you just quoting Weird Al?
Ted: I was indeed.
Woman: I'm a huge Weird Al fan.
Ted: Well, then I need to buy you a drink.
Woman: I'll have a glass of champagne, sweet pea.
Ted: One glass of champa- Sweet pea?
[Ted sees his mother:]
Virginia Mosby: Sure. Meeting a fellow Weird Al fan? That's cause for celebration.
Ted: Bottle of bubbly, coming right up!
Quote from Ted
[Al Yankovic reading fan mail in 1985:]
Al Yankovic: "Dear Mr. Yankovic, my name is Ted Mosby. Eight years old. 'Eat It' changed my life." Blah, blah, blah. Uhp. Here we go. "I have some ideas for new songs you could do." Why can't they just leave me alone?! "Wake Me Up Before You Pogo." Spend a whole afternoon on that one? "Like a Surgeon." [scoffs, then starts to sing] I finally made it through med school Somehow I made it through, ooh... [shouts] Vinny! Start recording!