Robin: [on TV] And after the Super Bowl, the mayor of the losing team's city had to pay up, sending the mayor of the winning team's city 15 pounds of a delicacy his of her city is famous for. Better fire up whatever type of grill, steamer or fryer one might use to cook that delicacy, Winning Team's Mayor.

Barney: Sir, who won the Super Bowl?
Man #1: Sorry. I missed the game.
Barney: You missed...?! How could he miss...? Excuse me! Who won the Super Bowl?!
Man #2: I... don't really follow sports.
Barney: Oh, my...! Emmitt Smith! Oh, thank God.
Emmitt Smith: Yeah, I get that a lot.
Barney: You got to tell me, who won the Super Bowl?
Emmitt Smith: The game was last night? You know, once you win two or three of those things, it's kind of like, eh.
Barney: But you're Emmitt Smith. You're a football player. It's Super Bowl Sunday. What could possibly be more important than football?!
Emmitt Smith: Dance, my friend. Dance.
Barney: [drops to his knees and cries] No!

Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, I told you stories about all the big holidays: Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving; but one holiday was always my favorite, Super Bowl Sunday. And there was one Super Bowl back in 2007 that I will never forget.

Ted: And I will be going to Quinn's to pick up the world's greatest food, the Super Bowl Hot Wings Platter.
Marshall: If I were a chicken, I'd go cannibal for those bad boys. Just eat my own damn wing off. I don't care. I'm crazy like that.

Wendy: Here's the info for tomorrow night.
Ted: What's tomorrow night?
Wendy: Oh, God, you didn't hear? Mark died.
Lily: Oh, my God.
Marshall: Oh, my gosh.
Wendy: The funeral's tomorrow at 6:00, and I know it would have meant a lot to Mark if you came. You guys were his favorite customers.
Ted: Oh, wow.
Lily: Stay strong.
Marshall: We're so sorry. [The waitress leaves]
Ted: ... Who was Mark?
Marshall: No idea.
Barney: Not a clue.

Lily: Well, I guess we should go, right?
Marshall: Wait, tomorrow night at 6:00, that's the Super Bowl.
Ted: Okay, I feel terrible, but the truth is we didn't know Mike.
Lily: Mark.
Ted: Mark, and as long as we send flowers, I can't think of any reason we'd have to-
Carl: [to another patron] Get out of here! I never want to see your face in this bar again! This soulless b*st*rd just told me he can't come to Mark's funeral because he wants to watch the Super Bowl. Could you believe that? You guys are coming, right?
All: Yes.

Lily: We are not fast-forwarding through the commercials.
Robin: Yeah, they're the best part.
Ted: Oh, come on. Remember last year? Who wants to watch a monkey in a coconut bra order a pizza?
Robin: Oh, my God. This monkey was so cute.

Robin: This is going faster than I thought. We'll make an appearance at the bar for the wake, we'll be watching the game by 8:00.
[cut to the bar:]
Carl: And even though we didn't see any whales, Mark and I both said it was the best day of our lives. Okay, I'm getting us another round. And when I come back, everyone else is telling their favorite Mark story. [exits]
Marshall: Dibs on the one Carl just told.

Ted: We have to watch the game together. It's tradition. Think of all the great times we've had watching this game.
[flashback to 2003:]
Ted: Second down, everyone drink.
Barney: Ted, it's not a drinking game if you drink anytime anything happens.
Marshall: Are these chicken wings or angel wings? God, I love these things.
Ted: I love you guys. This is so great, all of us watching the Super Bowl together. This is special. We need to do this every year, promise me!
Marshall: Calm down, buddy.
Lily: Oh, commercials!
Ted: Everyone drink!

Ted: Look, we always watch the Super Bowl together. So we make a pact to watch it tomorrow at 6:00 and go the next 18 hours without finding out who won.
Barney: That's impossible.
Ted: I'm not gonna lie to you. It's not gonna be easy. That means no TV, no Internet, no newspapers, nothing. Media blackout. But our tradition lives on. Who's in?
Lily: I'm in.
Robin: I'm in.
Marshall: I'm in.
Barney: What the hell, I'm in. High five!
Ted: Dude, we're at a wake.
Barney: Sorry. Solemn low five.