Lily: Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Mosby.
Alfred Mosby: Oh, Lily! Hi, Marshall.
Marshall: Good to see you.
Lily: I was just stopping by to pick up some of my things.
Virginia Mosby: Yes, we were so sorry to hear about your... You know, the, the... Well...
Marshall: Lily calling off the wedding and dumping me?
Lily: Me begging Marshall to take me back and him rejecting me?
Virginia Mosby: I love your hair.

Lily: Hey. How are you feeling? You looked kind of feverish last night.
Marshall: Oh, no, I actually feel great. It is kind of warm in here, though, isn't it?
Lily: Oh, I don't know, if anything, it's kind of... [Marshall starts unzipping his knee zips] What are you doing?
Marshall: Oh, nothing. Nothing at all. I'm just making myself feel a little bit more comfortable. [Marshall removes the bottom portion of his trouser and starts massing his calf] Oh. Oh, yes. I've been doing all these toe lifts lately, and so... My calves have really been cramping up.

Marshall: Take off your dress.
Lily: Take off the rest of your pants.

Lily: Just admit it, you came here trying to seduce me.
Marshall: Seduce you? You seduced me.
Lily: You sat down next to me and took most of your pants off.
Marshall: You went to San Francisco for three months.
Lily: How is that seducing you?
Marshall: Well, it's not but I'm still mad about it.

Ted: Barney, what are you doing here?
Barney: Uh... I'm here to meet your parents. They must be dying to meet me after all the legendary Barney stories you've told them.
Ted: I haven't told them any legendary Barney stories.
Barney: What?
Ted: Barney, here is a list of all the things I talk with my dad about: baseball.
Barney: But I'm your best friend.
Ted: Well, actually Marshall's my...
Barney: I'm the most important person in your life.
Ted: Well, Robin's actually...
Barney: How could your parents not know about me? I'm delightful.
Robin: To us, sure, in very small, infrequent doses. I mean, come on, you're not exactly the kind of friend parents want their kid to have.
Barney: Oh, really? Then I guess those shoes aren't the thing you're most wrong about today.

Ted: Uh, Mom, Dad, this is my girlfriend, Robin.
Alfred Mosby: Hello.
Robin: Hello.
Virginia Mosby: Oh, it's wonderful to meet you, Robin. Oh, you are so pretty. Isn't she pretty, Al?
Alfred Mosby: A real looker.
Robin: That's funny, I didn't even "look" in the mirror today. [silence] That's not anything, is it?

Virginia Mosby: Can I help?
Barney: Yes, you can, Virginia. There's a story behind that broach, and I'm going to hear it.
Virginia Mosby: Well, funny you should ask...

Lily: Whoops. I think I dropped an ice cube down here. Ow, it's so cold.
Marshall: All right, that's it, I'm out of here. In a minute.

Virginia Mosby: [about Barney] Oh, you are just terrific. Isn't he, Susan?
Robin: Robin.
Barney: Susan, her name is Virginia.

Barney: Dude, I am sincerely ticked at your dad right now.
Ted: Why?
Barney: Last night, we go to MacLaren's for a drink, right?
[flashback:]
Alfred Mosby: So Barney darts back into the burning house, lifts up the refrigerator I'm pinned under and pulls me to safety.
Wendy: Wow. You're like a hero.
Barney: Oh, I'm no hero, Wendy. You know who is a hero? My Dalmatian, Smokey. He... didn't... make it out. I'm sorry.
Wendy: You poor, brave man.
Alfred Mosby: Why don't you give the guy a hug?
Barney: I'm... oh. [Barney and Wendy hug. Behind her back, Barney gives Alfred a thumbs up]