Barney Quote #216
Ted: Barney, what are you doing here?
Barney: Uh... I'm here to meet your parents. They must be dying to meet me after all the legendary Barney stories you've told them.
Ted: I haven't told them any legendary Barney stories.
Barney: What?
Ted: Barney, here is a list of all the things I talk with my dad about: baseball.
Barney: But I'm your best friend.
Ted: Well, actually Marshall's my...
Barney: I'm the most important person in your life.
Ted: Well, Robin's actually...
Barney: How could your parents not know about me? I'm delightful.
Robin: To us, sure, in very small, infrequent doses. I mean, come on, you're not exactly the kind of friend parents want their kid to have.
Barney: Oh, really? Then I guess those shoes aren't the thing you're most wrong about today.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Brunch’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Barney: Can you believe your dad rack-jacked me like that?
Ted: My dad made out with Wendy the waitress? He cheated on my mom? No, that's impossible.
Barney: Ted, it's a well-known statistic that 83% of people married longer than six months are seeing someone on the side.
Ted: Do you know that when you make up a statistic, you always use "83%"?
Barney: You think I'm lying. Well, have you done any surveys on the subject? Because the good people at www.swingers.openmarriageisnaturallegalizepolygamy.org have, and they beg to differ.
Ted: That's not a real Web site.
Barney: Oh, and I suppose I didn't get a real T-shirt for running in their 10K.
Quote from Barney
Alfred Mosby: Whoa! Bravo, Barney.
Virginia Mosby: That is my all-time favorite sonata. Barney, you are just delightful.
Barney: No, Virginia, you're delightful, I am deligh-ted. And he's just Ted. I'm really not planning these things; they just keep happening.
Quote from Barney
Robin: What's the matter with you? I'm his girlfriend, and I'm not even trying that hard. Way to wreck the curve, kiss-ass.
Barney: Robin, I'm his best friend. That's a commitment. Girlfriend? That's like a bad flu. Out of your system after a couple weeks in bed. High five!