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41Quotes from ‘Ted Mosby, Architect’

How I Met Your Mother: Ted Mosby, Architect

204. Ted Mosby, Architect

Aired October 9, 2006

After Ted and Robin have their first fight, Barney encourages Ted to play up the fact he's an architect when talking to women. Lily and Robin spend the night following the trail of Ted Mosby, Architect.

Quote from Robin

[flashback:]
Robin: What I don't do is tell you the same story over and over again. I mean, you wouldn't watch the same movie over and over again, would you? Maybe a great movie like Die Hard. But Field of Dreams? Once is more than enough.
[At MacLaren's, Barney and Marshall have a shocked expression on their faces:]
Ted: So that's your go-to bad movie? The number one example on the tip of your tongue of a bad movie is Field of Dreams?
Robin: It's about ghost baseball players. I think it's stupid.
[At MacLaren's, Marshall and Barney are once again shocked]

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Quote from Barney

Ted: I wish I could join you guys, but I got to get back to my apparently boring job.
Marshall: Your job's not boring.
Ted: Robin thinks so.
Barney: Dude, lots of chicks think architects are hot. Think about it, you create something out of nothing. You're like God. There's nobody hotter than God.
Ted: I love it when you quote scripture.

Quote from Barney

Barney: I'm telling you, you should use the architect angle with the ladies.
Ted: Okay, first of all, I have a girlfriend. Second, the architect angle doesn't even work on her. And, third, I can't imagine that working on anyone ever.
Barney: That's 'cause you're always like... [flatly] "Ted Mosby, architect". If it were me, I'd be like... [boasting] "Ted Mosby, architect". Anything sounds impressive when it's said with the right attitude.

Quote from Barney

[flashback:]
Barney: Sorry, I forgot my binocs for Foxy Boxing. Whoo, looks like things just got a little foxier right here.
Ted: Yes, they did. And you're just in time. Girls, I got to go, but I'm leaving you in very good, if slightly sullied hands.
Anna: Don't go. We don't even know your name to look out for your buildings.
Barney: Yeah, stay. [mouths "go"]
Ted: Excuse us for one second. [to Barney] Okay, you were right. The architect thing totally works. But I've got a girlfriend and I've got to get back to work. This project is getting harder and harder.
Barney: Yeah, you did.
Ted: Yeah, had to. See ya. [leaves]
Barney: [to Paula] Sorry, my, uh... intern had to leave.
Anna: Oh, well, that's too bad. I'm Anna, by the way.
Barney: Ted Mosby, Architect.

Quote from Barney

Barney: And thus ended this chapter of, "Let's pour our hearts out in the bedroom of Barney's one-night stand." Come on, let's go before she gets out of the shower.
Robin: You're such a pig. You're not even going to say good-bye?
Barney: I'll have you know I composed a lovely form letter for use in just such an occasion. Just fill out her name and then... Something with a "A." A... A... I'll just put "resident." Go, go, go, go.

Quote from Barney

[As Anna reads the letter that Barney left behind:]
Barney: "Dear Resident... The time we spent together, however long it was, meant the world to me. I would love to see you again, but unfortunately, I cannot. You see, I am a ghost. I can't only materialize once every decade on the anniversary of my death. I chose to spend my one day among the living with you, sweet resident. Perhaps we will meet again in another decade, provided you keep your figure. Until then, all my love from the beyond. Barney."
Anna: Barney? Who the hell is Barney?

Quote from Barney

Marshall: Well, all skyscrapers kind of look like a...
Ted: Marshall, it's a 78-story pink marble tower with a rounded top and two spherical entryways at the front.
Marshall: Wow, so it's the whole package.
Barney: Yeah, you did.
Marshall: Had to.
Barney: Oh, dude, if they're selling condos, you got to get me in. And don't give me the shaft.
Marshall: Yeah, you did.
Barney: Had to.

Quote from Barney

Ted: Then at the end of the movie when he has a catch with his dad, like... Like he never did when he was young enough for it to matter.
Barney: [emotional] Can we talk about something else?

Quote from Ted

Robin: I wonder where Ted went.
Paula: Ted Mosby, the architect?
Robin: Actually, yeah. Oh, he is such a cool guy. He was here earlier.
[flashback:]
Anna: And what made you decide you wanted to become an architect?
Ted: Well, you know, soul of an artist, hands of a master craftsman. It was inevitable, I guess.
Anna: I bet you can draw, can't you? You should draw me.
Ted: Well, I could try, but you might end up looking like a midcentury tri-level. [laughs] Hey, if you want, my friend Marshall invited me to this party we could all go to. Marshall's great. He's just a lawyer, but somebody has to push the paper around for us creative types. Am I right?

Quote from Robin

Lily: He asked her to a party. Oh, my God, are you okay?
Robin: Okay? It's awesome. It's a win-win. Ted got to vent and I don't have to hear it. Maybe after he's done with the talkie-talk, he'll come over and I'll get the fun part.
Lily: What is wrong with you? God, I feel like I'm teaching love as a second language here.

Quote from Marshall

Brad: Hey, Marshall, where's Lily?
Marshall: I didn't want to ruin the party for everybody this early, but, uh... everyone take a seat. Um... Lily actually called off the wedding this summer to go to San Francisco. So... We're broken up.
Brad: Her name wasn't on your lease, was it? 'Cause if not, New York state law, you're not obligated to give her half the deposit when you move.
Marshall: Yeah, that's not really the part I was worried about, guys.
Kara: And don't forget the precedent set by Smith v. Rosenblatt, '74. Any personal effects she left in your house or dwelling become yours after 30 days.
Marshall: Guys, can we cease and desist with the lawyer speak for a minute? Love died. The love that made you all believe in love, that's dead now.

Quote from Lily

Robin: Dancing? He went dancing with this girl? Okay, maybe this is a little bad. Dancing is bad. Dancing leads to sex.
Lily: Did you grow up in that Footloose town?

Quote from Barney

Barney: And that led to a couple of hours that I cannot, as a gentleman, divulge to you. We did it right here, and here and here.
Robin: But why would you use Ted's name?
Barney: I've had some recent bad press on the World Wide Web. So I'm taking a T.O. on the whole "using my real name" thing.

Quote from Ted

Ted: Hey, you want to see the building that will make every man in Spokane feel inadequate?
Robin: Obviously. Wow.
Ted: Yes.
Robin: You know, you didn't mention all the foliage around the base. If you trim that back, the rest would look bigger.
Ted: You don't have to tell me.

Quote from Ted

Ted: And, um, just for fun, I've... I've sort of been working on my own idea of what I think the building should be. What do you think?
Future Ted: [v.o.] You know that time we went to Spokane and I pointed out that skyscraper? That was the first building I ever designed. And that night was the first time I showed anyone my first drawing of it.
Robin: Wow. Ted, this is amazing.
Ted: Thanks. It's not like it will ever come to anything.
Robin: I don't know. It might come to something. You know, girls find architects very hot. [Robin and Ted kiss]
Ted: Okay, but I don't want you expecting 78 storeys or anything. [they kiss again]


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