Lily: I can't believe it. We got Van Smoot House.
Marshall: It is on. It is on! Like the former Soviet Republic of Azerbaijan.

Barney: Guys! I just tasted an amazing caterer.
Lily: We already have a caterer.
Barney: Oh, right. You're getting married. You see what I did there?

[Marshall and Lily down the street]
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, about eight months into Aunt Lily and Uncle Marshall's engagement, there occurred a game-changing emergency.
[twenty minutes earlier:]
Marshall: Van Smoot is available.
Lily: Oh, my God!
Future Ted: Van Smoot House was a gorgeous mansion right on the Hudson River. It had everything Marshall and Lily wanted for their wedding, but it was never available. And then, suddenly, it was.
Marshall: There was a cancellation two months from now.
Lily: You want to have our wedding in two months? No. It's impossible.
Marshall: It's Van Smoot, Lily. It's the dream!
Lily: No, there's just not enough time. There's no way... Oh! Mini-vomit.
Marshall: Okay, look, look, look. I know that it's sudden, but check it. If we don't take this, guess who's on their way with a deposit check.
Lily: Todd and Valerie?
[Another couple is running down the street]
Future Ted: When you're planning a wedding, there's always one couple with similar taste that seems to be one step ahead of you. Todd and Valerie were that couple.
Marshall: We got to make a decision. Todd and Valerie are in motion. Van Smoot!
Lily: Oh! Kids, color! [runs off]

Ted: You guys are getting married in two months?
Robin: How are you going to get everything done?
Lily: Division of labor. Everyone's got a job to do, so listen up. Okay, Robin, you and Ted go to the florist.
Future Ted: [v.o.] Robin had been mad at me since the night I slightly exaggerated my not-having-a-girlfriend-ness.
[flashback to the night Robin answered Ted's phone and learned he was still dating Victoria; back:]
Lily: Or, actually, Robin, why don't you go to the florist? And, Ted, I could use your keen architectural eye on... on the invitations.
Barney: Wow. That was really awkward, Lil. And still. It's still really awkward right now.

Barney: Hey, what about me? What's my job? What do I get to do?
Lily: Okay, your job is very simple. At the wedding, do not sleep with anyone even remotely related to me.
Barney: [laughs] Lil, you know I can't promise that.

Marshall: Shh! Shh! Look how cute she looks. All tuckered out. Hey, babe. Hey, little one. Hey, Lilypad.
Lily: [waking up] Crap! Band! We forgot a band! It's just gonna be silence and then people chewing.

Marshall: Baby, don't worry about it. I called The 88!
Lily: Who?
Marshall: The 88. They're this awesome band. They played my law review party. They were found guilty on three counts of rocking.

Ted: I saw them two months ago at my cousin Bonzo's wedding, they were great.
Lily: John "Bonzo" Bonham from Led Zeppelin?
Ted: Yes, Lily, my cousin, the drummer from Led Zeppelin, who died in 1980, got married two months ago.

Marshall: It looks like The 88 are playing at a high school prom in New Jersey tomorrow.
Lily: A prom? Can- Can we go to that?
Marshall: Yeah, we'll just call the high school, they'll let us stand in the back and watch.
[11 seconds later:]
Lily: Yeah. No, they won't.
Marshall: Why not?
Lily: 'Cause it turns out we're not in high school.

Barney: No sweat, we'll just sneak in.
Marshall: We're not sneaking in to a high school prom.
Lily: Yes, we are. It's the only way.
Ted: You're getting on board with Barney's idea? Man, you really have snapped.
Lily: It's nine weeks till the wedding. At this point, I'd say yes to just about anything.
Barney: Well...
Lily: No, Barney.