Ted: Besides, Marshall and I have been planning on having a guy's night out before the wedding. Why don't we just make it tomorrow night?
Marshall: Sounds awesome. We should go out and just get freakin' weird.
Ted: Yeah.
Marshall: 'Cause, you know, you be a bad, bad man, and I be an outlaw.
Barney: Wow. Hey, Thelma, Louise, y'all don't drive off no cliffs now, ya hear? Lame! But seriously, leave me a message, and we'll meet up later.

Barney: Nice. You ladies look good, but your outfits are missing just one thing.
Robin: No, Barney, this is as far as we're going to go. I'm not showing anymore...
Barney: Two beautiful flowers for two beautiful flowers.

Lily: Wow, a lot more security than when we were kids.
Robin: Is this gonna work?
Lily: Yeah. Look, when I was 17, I used to sneak into clubs all the time. It's all about confidence. Follow me. Wee-hoo! Happy prom, everybody. Going to prom-- whee-hoo!
Security Guard: Uh, you're adults.
Lily: Okay, bye.

Lily: Hi. Excuse me. I was wondering if you guys could play "Good Feeling" by the Violent Femmes. I know it's probably not in your repertoire, but I'm getting married and my fiancé wants to hire you guys as the band, but I can't sign off on it until I hear you play "Good Feeling" because that's our song, and what kind of wedding band would you be if you couldn't play our song, right? Right?
Man: Look, I'm kinda wasted right now, so I didn't understand any of that. But, uh, if you get us the sheet music, we'll play your song.

Marshall: [answers phone] Hello.
Robin: Hey, it's Robin. Um, Lily needs you to download the sheet music for "Good Feeling" and bring it out here, like, now.
Marshall: Hang on. It's Robin. She wants me to go to prom. Can Ted come?
Ted: Wait! Don't ask! That's so lame! I don't even want to go anyway.
Robin: Uh, I don't know. Things have been so weird between us.
Ted: What'd she say? What'd she say?
Robin: He lied and told me he broke up with his girlfriend to try to hook up with me. I mean, I know he apologized for it but it's just, it's not easy to forgive. Look, if you absolutely must bring Ted, it's, it's not like I'm going to claw my own eyes out if he comes.

[flashback:]
Lily: Scooter, when I go off to college, that's the end for us.
Scooter: You're, you're breaking up with me?
Lily: There's still so much I want to do. I want to travel, live overseas as an artist, maybe have a lesbian relationship. Plus, I think I was just dating you 'cause you look a little bit like Kurt Cobain.

Barney: How did you guys get in here?
Ted: We just snuck in the back.
Barney: You just snu- Are you serious? I've been trying to get in here all night. I finally paid a janitor 200 bucks to let me borrow this mascot costume.
Ted: But you got in. Slow and steady won the race.

Lily: I can't believe I unloaded like that on a high school senior.
Robin: I can't believe a high school senior unloaded like that on me.

Lily: I didn't have any of the experiences I set out to. The travel, the bohemian art life, my big lesbian experience. I didn't do any of it.
Robin: Lily, you're marrying your best friend in the world. I mean, isn't that worth all the other experiences combined?
Lily: Yeah.
Robin: And look, you can still travel, I mean, you can still paint. And as far as your lesbian experience... [Robin kisses Lily] Happy?
Lily: Yeah. So field hockey, huh?
Robin: Shut up.

Ted: Oh, come on. You're the one who let in a kid with nunchakus. You call yourself security guards? I was just defending my boy here.
Marshall: I totally could have taken that kid.
Ted: Uh, yeah, and I totally had your back, so...
Marshall: Well, I don't need it, but thanks.
Ted: Uh, yeah, you did, and you're welcome.
Marshall: No, the kid was totally, like, a white belt and I'm gigantic.