Lily: All right, what do you think?
Barney: Horrible.
Lily: You're gonna make such a great dad.
Barney: You look so classy and nice. You're going to stick out like a sore thumb. Have you seen how the kids are dressing these days, with the Ashlee and the Lindsay and the Paris? They all dress like strippers. It's go ho or go home.

Future Ted: [v.o.] And so, Aunt Lily had the plan to crash the prom.
Robin: I'll go with you.
Lily: Really?
Robin: Yeah. I never got to go to my prom. We always had field hockey nationals in the spring.
Barney: [coughs, speaks clearly] Lesbian.
Robin: The cough is supposed to cover the "lesbian."
Barney: No, I'm trying to start a thing where the cough is separate.

Lily: Look, I- I can't sign off on a band I've never even seen. We- We don't even know if they can play our song. They're... they're going to have to come over here and audition.
Marshall: Baby, The 88 don't audition. They're, like, the Wiggles of wedding bands.