Tim: All right, our first project up is a tool box. It's a perfect project for young tool men out there, and for us veterans, it's a... it's a warm look back at a kinder, gentler tool America.
Al: That was very moving, Tim.
Mr. Leonard: Do you guys ever stop yapping and get to the projects?
Tim: Sorry, Mr. Leonard.

Mr. Leonard: What do you want, Tim?
Tim: I wanna talk about what happened on Tool Time.
Mr. Leonard: Boy, I must've looked like a real jerk.
Tim: You didn't look like a jerk.
Mr. Leonard: Yeah, but you were right, Timmy. I can't do it anymore. I've been trying all day. My brain tells me I can do it, but my hands just won't work.
Tim: Well, I have the opposite problem. My hands can do it. It's my brain that won't work.
Mr. Leonard: Timmy, when I was in high school and played football I used to catch anything that came near me. Now I can't even cut a piece of stupid metal.
Tim: Oh, for crying out loud, you're more than a set of hands.
Mr. Leonard: Timmy, I was a shop teacher. What do you think I taught with?
Tim: Well, how about looking at the big picture? You know, if a boulder falls on you, society likes to pour ge-salt on your wounds.

Mr. Leonard: What are you talking about?
Tim: You weren't a good teacher because of your hands.
Mr. Leonard: Oh, don't start that garbage again.
Tim: Look, Mr... Look, Art. You were a good teacher 'cause you stood up for guys like me. You encouraged me. You made all of us think that we could do something.
Mr. Leonard: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tim: Listen, when I called all those guys to be on Tool Time, they lined up. A lot of guys wanted to do this because you were the one teacher that made an impression on them.
Mr. Leonard: Really?
Tim: Yeah. And you're the same guy. Look at Brad. The Charlie Parker story? The kid won't leave the saxophone alone now.
Mr. Leonard: That old chestnut worked again?
Tim: Yeah, just like it worked on me. But I believe it was A.J. Foyt for me, right?
Mr. Leonard: Well, it's been a lot of people over the years. Tommy Lasorda, Mahatma Gandhi...
Tim: Two guys with very different eating habits.

Mr. Leonard: Will you tell me how I ever passed you?
Tim: It's not that bad.
Mr. Leonard: You tried to eyeball that, didn't you?
Tim: Maybe. These spot-welds show promise.
Mr. Leonard: That is a spot-welding disaster.
Tim: You're starting to rile me up.
Mr. Leonard: Oh, well, good. Maybe if I get you riled up enough, you'll do it properly. I got a piece of sheet metal over here that's already etched. Let's see if you can do it. Get those Tin-Snips off the wall.
Tim: Right. This time we do it. Let's make a little solenoid-operated top so it pops up when you...
Mr. Leonard: Come on, for Pete's sake. You don't have to improve everything, for Pete's sake.

Tim: Plus I got a chance... to make this.
Jill: Wow! This is great. But I thought you said Mr. Leonard couldn't cut metal anymore. Who did this?
Tim: I did, Ms. Sarcastic Pants. With the greatest shop teacher in the world helping me.
Jill: Well, it looks really great. It looks like you made no mistakes.
Tim: Well, there was a slight accident.
Jill: Oh, no. Did you blow up that lovely old man?
Tim: Just most of his garage and half the block. Just kidding. [Jill laughs]

Tim: Well, how do I look?
Jill: Oh, you're so cute. You're trying to impress your teacher.
Tim: Well, actually, I'm just trying to make up for the last impression I made on him. I put a three-inch gash in his forehead.

Brad: Hey, Dad, do you think if you misbehave, Mr. Leonard's gonna give you a detention?
Tim: Yes, Brad, that's what he's gonna do. [fake crying] You know, it wouldn't hurt you guys when he gets here to show me a little respect.
Randy: Well, we always try and show you as little respect as possible. [off Tim's look] Sir.

Tim: Well, you'd better show my shop teacher some respect. This guy is a tough guy. His handshake could crush a two-ton gorilla.
Jill: I wonder what he's been up to since he retired.
Brad: I hope he's not working at the zoo.

Tim: Just a minute, we have a little surprise for you. I've invited some of your old shop students down to do a cut with the master. Heidi, bring out Mr. Leonard's old shop students, please.
Mr. Leonard: [chuckles] For Pete's sake. Frankie, my best student. Boy, you sure churned out a lot of ashtrays.
Frankie: [gravely] Thank you. They came in handy. [laughs, coughs]
Larry: Hey, remember me, Mr. Leonard? Larry Lindover.
Mr. Leonard: Larry! Great attitude, bad hands. What are you up to these days?
Larry: I'm a neurosurgeon.

Tim: I think I'm gonna hand over my tin snips to a higher authority.
Mr. Leonard: Thank you, Tim. All right, now, gentlemen, the important thing to remember is to cut the notches to their proper depth.
Tim: All right, Marv, would you bring the camera in here? Let's watch the master make his first cut. Now, it's thin metal, so the cut'll be very easy. Well, actually it's 24-gauge metal, so it won't be that easy. You want me to help you with that?
Mr. Leonard: No, I don't need any help, thank you. Dammit!
Tim: I'll tell you what, why don't I make the cut and you tell everyone how we're gonna bend our notches.
Mr. Leonard: I'll tell you what. Since I'm running this class I'll do the cutting, OK?
Tim: Well, you don't have to do the cutting. You have plenty of students that could do that, sir.
Mr. Leonard: Who? Frankie "The Lung" or Dr. Butterfingers? No, thank you.
[After Mr. Leonard puts the tin snips down and rubs his hand, Tim picks the tool up]
Tim: Here, let's make that first cut...
Mr. Leonard: Hey, hey, hey! I was doing the cutting. Don't you ever take a tool away from me!
Tim: W-w-we'll be right back with a warm look at a kinder, gentler tool America after these words from Binford Tools.
Tim: Mr. Leonard...
Mr. Leonard: Don't you tell me what I can and can't do! I don't need some punk kid with a stupid TV show telling me that I can't cut metal!
Tim: I just didn't want you to be embarrassed.
Mr. Leonard: Little late for that now, isn't it?