Tim Quote #1424
Quote from Tim in Ye Olde Shoppe Teacher
Tim: I think I'm gonna hand over my tin snips to a higher authority.
Mr. Leonard: Thank you, Tim. All right, now, gentlemen, the important thing to remember is to cut the notches to their proper depth.
Tim: All right, Marv, would you bring the camera in here? Let's watch the master make his first cut. Now, it's thin metal, so the cut'll be very easy. Well, actually it's 24-gauge metal, so it won't be that easy. You want me to help you with that?
Mr. Leonard: No, I don't need any help, thank you. Dammit!
Tim: I'll tell you what, why don't I make the cut and you tell everyone how we're gonna bend our notches.
Mr. Leonard: I'll tell you what. Since I'm running this class I'll do the cutting, OK?
Tim: Well, you don't have to do the cutting. You have plenty of students that could do that, sir.
Mr. Leonard: Who? Frankie "The Lung" or Dr. Butterfingers? No, thank you.
[After Mr. Leonard puts the tin snips down and rubs his hand, Tim picks the tool up]
Tim: Here, let's make that first cut...
Mr. Leonard: Hey, hey, hey! I was doing the cutting. Don't you ever take a tool away from me!
Tim: W-w-we'll be right back with a warm look at a kinder, gentler tool America after these words from Binford Tools.
Tim: Mr. Leonard...
Mr. Leonard: Don't you tell me what I can and can't do! I don't need some punk kid with a stupid TV show telling me that I can't cut metal!
Tim: I just didn't want you to be embarrassed.
Mr. Leonard: Little late for that now, isn't it?
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Ye Olde Shoppe Teacher’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: I broke the cardinal rule with men. I offered help to a man that didn't want any.
Jill: Well, it looked like he needed it.
Tim: That didn't matter. By offering him help, it made him feel like less of a man.
Jill: Now, wait a minute. Are you trying to tell me that if you saw a guy trapped underneath a boulder and he didn't ask for your help, you wouldn't move the boulder? [Tim shakes his head] That is insane.
Tim: If I moved the boulder the guy would feel like half a man.
Jill: If you didn't move the boulder the guy would be half a man.
Tim: But that half would thank me.
Jill: And men say that women are illogical and irrational?
Tim: They are, but what does that have to do with this?
Quote from Tim
Mr. Leonard: I swear to you, it's the truth. I mean, your father is a genuine original. I got another one for you. Even I can't explain this one. He is gluing a table together one time. Somehow a piece of the table gets stuck to his head.
Tim: There's a mistake I didn't let happen again.
Mark: Dad, didn't you do that...?
Tim: Here, have a cookie, will you, pal?
Quote from Tim
Jill: It is so great to see a mentor and a student reunited again. I used to have an English teacher that affected me the way you did Tim. Um, Mrs. Holloway. She introduced me to Shakespeare. Gosh, I loved Macbeth I used to walk around going, "Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"
Tim: Well, enough of your laundry stories.