Tim Quote #1428
Quote from Tim in Ye Olde Shoppe Teacher
Mr. Leonard: What do you want, Tim?
Tim: I wanna talk about what happened on Tool Time.
Mr. Leonard: Boy, I must've looked like a real jerk.
Tim: You didn't look like a jerk.
Mr. Leonard: Yeah, but you were right, Timmy. I can't do it anymore. I've been trying all day. My brain tells me I can do it, but my hands just won't work.
Tim: Well, I have the opposite problem. My hands can do it. It's my brain that won't work.
Mr. Leonard: Timmy, when I was in high school and played football I used to catch anything that came near me. Now I can't even cut a piece of stupid metal.
Tim: Oh, for crying out loud, you're more than a set of hands.
Mr. Leonard: Timmy, I was a shop teacher. What do you think I taught with?
Tim: Well, how about looking at the big picture? You know, if a boulder falls on you, society likes to pour ge-salt on your wounds.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Ye Olde Shoppe Teacher’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: I broke the cardinal rule with men. I offered help to a man that didn't want any.
Jill: Well, it looked like he needed it.
Tim: That didn't matter. By offering him help, it made him feel like less of a man.
Jill: Now, wait a minute. Are you trying to tell me that if you saw a guy trapped underneath a boulder and he didn't ask for your help, you wouldn't move the boulder? [Tim shakes his head] That is insane.
Tim: If I moved the boulder the guy would feel like half a man.
Jill: If you didn't move the boulder the guy would be half a man.
Tim: But that half would thank me.
Jill: And men say that women are illogical and irrational?
Tim: They are, but what does that have to do with this?
Quote from Tim
Mr. Leonard: I swear to you, it's the truth. I mean, your father is a genuine original. I got another one for you. Even I can't explain this one. He is gluing a table together one time. Somehow a piece of the table gets stuck to his head.
Tim: There's a mistake I didn't let happen again.
Mark: Dad, didn't you do that...?
Tim: Here, have a cookie, will you, pal?
Quote from Tim
Jill: It is so great to see a mentor and a student reunited again. I used to have an English teacher that affected me the way you did Tim. Um, Mrs. Holloway. She introduced me to Shakespeare. Gosh, I loved Macbeth I used to walk around going, "Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"
Tim: Well, enough of your laundry stories.