Tim: You retired. How's that going?
Mr. Leonard: It stinks. I hate it. The only good thing about it is the set of golf clubs they gave me.
Tim: I never pictured you as much of a golfer.
Mr. Leonard: I'm not. I melted them down and made a lamp.
Tim: I melt down gifts all the time.
Randy: And not always on purpose.
Tim: Randy.
Randy: Sir?

Tim: Look at this. I was going through... I found some stuff I made in my old shop class. Huh? First year assignment, a tool box.
Jill: That's good for carrying around lopsided tools.
Tim: That's real funny, honey. I got this stuff out because I talked to my old shop teacher today.
Jill: Oh, Mr...?
Tim: Leonard.
Jill: Leonard, right. The man who first recognized your unnatural need for more power.
Tim: That was Fire Chief O'Malley.

Jill: When was the last time you saw Mr. Leonard?
Tim: Uh... Gotta be 20 years ago. He's in town seeing his niece. He saw me on Tool Time.
Jill: Well, you know what, I would really like to meet him. Why don't you invite him over?
Tim: Did it. He's coming to dinner tomorrow night. And you'll make his favorite - corned beef and cabbage.
Jill: What will I be wearing, Your Toolness?
Tim: I'm hoping for something in a wood or a metal.
Jill: I'll go with that aluminum Miracle bra.

Tim: You're going to love this guy. Just watching him spot-weld would bring tears to your eyes.
Jill: Yeah. Spot-welding does bring up so many emotions.
Tim: This is the guy who encouraged me to make this.
Jill: What is that?
Tim: It's a toilet paper dispenser.
Jill: I would like to see the toilet that that goes with.
Tim: This isn't an indoor dispenser like the other kids made. This is for TPing the great outdoors.

Tim: My lovely wife, Jill.
Mr. Leonard: Ah.
Tim: Works a good lathe, but not much of a welder.
Jill: But I'm great with a fire extinguisher.
Mr. Leonard: [laughs] And you're not bad with a put-down either.

Mr. Leonard: Nice to meet you, Jill.
Jill: Oh, it is so nice to meet you. Tim has been talking about you for so long. You know, I think he even mentioned you on our honeymoon.
Mr. Leonard: Did you, now?
Jill: Mm.
Tim: What I said was, if Mr. Leonard had built the bed it wouldn't have collapsed.

Brad: Mr. Leonard. Dad says you're the greatest shop teacher of all time.
Mr. Leonard: You can stop kissing up. I passed you.
Tim: All right. Anything to drink?
Mr. Leonard: Anything cold.
Jill: Would you like to sit down, Mr. Leonard?
Mr. Leonard: Well, only if you call me Art.
Tim: There you go, Art.
Mr. Leonard: You can still call me Mr. Leonard.

Tim: How'd you like Tool Time?
Mr. Leonard: Oh, I loved it, Timmy. I loved it. You'll never know how shocked I was when I turned on the tube and there was your ugly kisser.
Tim: You're surprised I had my own TV show, right?
Mr. Leonard: No, I'm surprised you're still alive. [Tim laughs] I'm telling you, boys, he gave us a lot of scares.
Mark: You too?

Jill: Oh, Brad, don't forget to practice your saxophone.
Brad: Mom, why do I have to practice so much?
Tim: Because she said so.
Mr. Leonard: And because practice makes perfect. You ever heard of Charlie Parker?
Tim: The guy who played Davy Crockett.
Mr. Leonard: That was Fess Parker. Charlie Parker was one of the greatest saxophonists ever.
Brad: Oh, yeah, my teacher played a record of his. He's really great.
Mr. Leonard: That's right. And before he started practicing 16 hours a day, he used to sound like a foghorn. Ships used to dock at his front door. Now, get up there and toot your horn.
Brad: All right. Gotcha, Mr. Leonard.

Tim: Mr. Leonard, it's great to see you.
Mr. Leonard: Oh, Timmy, it's wonderful. It brings back such memories. [laughs] Do you remember your first semester, the thing with the acetylene torch?
Tim: Yeah. I burned a little hole in the principal's office wall.
Mr. Leonard: Uh-huh. You remember his reaction? He was fuming.
Tim: Literally.
Mr. Leonard: Oh, yeah. He wanted me to take you out of shop class permanently.
Tim: The principal wanted me out of shop class? And the school board and the PTA. I think I even got a call from the mayor. And I told them all, "Thank you. Go stick it in your ear."
Jill: Why did you stick up for Tim like that?
Mr. Leonard: Because I had never seen a kid with so much enthusiasm before. When I could get you to calm down and stop trying to set the principal on fire, you showed some real talent. And that's why I told them to shove it. Because I knew you were gonna be great, and I was right.