Brad Quote #82
Quote from Brad in Ye Olde Shoppe Teacher
Jill: Oh, Brad, don't forget to practice your saxophone.
Brad: Mom, why do I have to practice so much?
Tim: Because she said so.
Mr. Leonard: And because practice makes perfect. You ever heard of Charlie Parker?
Tim: The guy who played Davy Crockett.
Mr. Leonard: That was Fess Parker. Charlie Parker was one of the greatest saxophonists ever.
Brad: Oh, yeah, my teacher played a record of his. He's really great.
Mr. Leonard: That's right. And before he started practicing 16 hours a day, he used to sound like a foghorn. Ships used to dock at his front door. Now, get up there and toot your horn.
Brad: All right. Gotcha, Mr. Leonard.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Ye Olde Shoppe Teacher’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: I broke the cardinal rule with men. I offered help to a man that didn't want any.
Jill: Well, it looked like he needed it.
Tim: That didn't matter. By offering him help, it made him feel like less of a man.
Jill: Now, wait a minute. Are you trying to tell me that if you saw a guy trapped underneath a boulder and he didn't ask for your help, you wouldn't move the boulder? [Tim shakes his head] That is insane.
Tim: If I moved the boulder the guy would feel like half a man.
Jill: If you didn't move the boulder the guy would be half a man.
Tim: But that half would thank me.
Jill: And men say that women are illogical and irrational?
Tim: They are, but what does that have to do with this?
Quote from Tim
Mr. Leonard: I swear to you, it's the truth. I mean, your father is a genuine original. I got another one for you. Even I can't explain this one. He is gluing a table together one time. Somehow a piece of the table gets stuck to his head.
Tim: There's a mistake I didn't let happen again.
Mark: Dad, didn't you do that...?
Tim: Here, have a cookie, will you, pal?
Quote from Tim
Jill: It is so great to see a mentor and a student reunited again. I used to have an English teacher that affected me the way you did Tim. Um, Mrs. Holloway. She introduced me to Shakespeare. Gosh, I loved Macbeth I used to walk around going, "Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"
Tim: Well, enough of your laundry stories.