Richard: Better not wait. Small gaps in your insurance coverage can lead to big mistakes. Oh, I could tell you horror stories.
Emily: Brian Hunter.
Richard: Yes. He owned a home for 40 years - huge mansion - never updated his coverage. One night, his trophy bimbo wife got into a drunken snit, lit a curtain on fire with her marijuana cigarette, and burned the place to the ground. He couldn't afford to rebuild. Lost his fortune, lost the bimbo.
Emily: Now he sells sunglasses out of the back of a van in California. Cheap ones.
Richard: Because he didn't update his coverage.

Richard: You sure he's legit?
Lorelai: Of course it's legit. Come on, Dad.
Richard: Don't be naive. There are schemers about preying on the naive.
Emily: John Kendall.
Richard: John was drinking at a party, met a fellow, switched all of his coverage to the guy, wrote him a huge check on the spot. Then he suffered earthquake damage, and there was no record of the insurance transaction. It was a scam. Now he's working at the gift shop at the Grand Ol' Opry.
Emily: Horrid music.
Richard: Sells cowboy shirts and toy banjos.

Lorelai: Oh, I feel like I should run in there and yell at them about something.
Luke: About what?
Lorelai: I don't know. That's what's stopping me.
Luke: What is this feeling, this tightness in the chest, this anger mixed with paralyzing weakness?
Lorelai: You've been Gilmored.

Luke: I don't want to go.
Lorelai: Of course you don't.
Luke: Your parents are not warm people.
Lorelai: They were extras in March of the Penguins.
Luke: Maybe we could skip the drinks, just have the dinner, and be done.
Lorelai: Skip the drinks? Luke, you don't skip the one activity that makes the rest of the evening miraculously tolerable. The drinks fortify us. The drinks give us strength. The drinks get us drunk.

Michel: It must be nice to have a man who isn't ashamed of his own natural body odor.

Richard: Oh, no. We're allowed to talk about it. We're just not allowed to pay for it.
Lorelai: Dad.
Emily: I wonder if we're allowed to visit it.
Lorelai: Okay, hold on.
Richard: Perhaps if we dress in disguise.
Lorelai: Guys!
Emily: Plastic nose with glasses attached.
Lorelai: Hey, come on. We were doing so well there for a while. Then you had to start with the Yale.
Emily: So we can't talk about Yale.
Richard: I should make a list. What else am I not allowed to discuss in my house?

Emily: I was just asking. After all, I haven't gotten a "save the date" card yet. If you're engaged, I assume you're planning a wedding at some point, not that I've heard anything.
Lorelai: I will send you a "save the date" card, mom.
Emily: For?
Lorelai: For?
Emily: What date am I saving?
Lorelai: Well, if I tell you that now, then what fun will the card be?
Emily: I mean, I assume I'm invited. I haven't heard. I haven't heard if I'm invited, if I'm in the wedding, if I need a dress. And now you won't tell me the date of this wedding that I may or may not be invited to.

Rory: [o.s.] I thought there was no June 3rd.
Lorelai: No, there's a June 3rd. Just because we don't get married on a date doesn't make it cease to exist.
Rory: You know what I mean.
Lorelai: I was on the spot. I just didn't want to go through the whole "the wedding was postponed" explanation.
Rory: Why not?
Lorelai: Because that would lead to the "what happened?" conversation, which would lead to the "I told you so" conversation and the "what is wrong with you that you can't close the deal?" conversation, which would lead to the "why is Lorelai slamming her head against the wall?" conversation. So I just said June 3rd. It could still happen, and if it doesn't, I'll blow up that bridge when we come to it.

Lorelai: Solaris?
Rory: No, not again.
Lorelai: I'm telling you, there's a story in there somewhere.
Rory: Yeah, the story is you calling yourself Mrs. Clooney for 2 1/2 hours.
Lorelai: Have you heard from him lately?
Rory: George? Yes, last night. The Oscar buzz is really getting to him.

Rory: Hey, Bullets over Broadway.
Lorelai: "Don't speak."
Rory: If only.
Lorelai: [gasps] Hey, you like me. Remember that.