Lorelai: [on the phone] Call him and cancel.
Luke: Right, and how would he take that?
Lorelai: Badly, that's why you just hang up real quick.
Luke: And this is a good way to start a relationship with your father?
Lorelai: No, this is the way to end it. God, you're slow. Listen, call him and tell him that, um, when he called, you had just dropped some peyote, and you were tripping, and you were seeing vapors, and that's why you agreed, but then you landed and realized that you can't go. Wait, do you smoke peyote? We should get that straight before you call him.

Richard: So, have you put much thought into franchising?
Luke: Franchising?
Richard: That diner of yours. Now is the time to jump. There are opportunities abounding in real estate right now.
Luke: Eh, well, no, I haven't.
Richard: I'd concentrate on the eastern seaboard, first. Connecticut, New York, Massachusetts. I'd start with, uh, five to seven.
Luke: Diners?
Richard: Something manageable. You'll need an investment banker. Ah, just ran into Herb Smith in the clubhouse, best banker in the business, I'll give him your number.
Luke: Good.
Richard: So, once the first seven are a go, shoot for the moon. National expansion. Set up a public corporation, issue an I.P.O.
Luke: Yeah, sure. An I.P.O. Gotta set up one of those.
Richard: Have you ever gotten a straight razor shave?
Luke: No.
Richard: Shaves you close, lasts for days. I'll give you my barber's card.

Rory: Look, thanks for the offer, but I'm here as a journalist. An observer. Journalists do not participate.
Logan: Since when?
Rory: Since forever.
Logan: George Plimpton never participated?
Rory: What?
Logan: His best stuff put him in the think of it. Fighting Sugar Ray Robinson, quarterbacking for the Lions, skating for the Bruins.
Rory: So he participated.
Logan: Bill Buford lived with soccer hooligans in amongst the thugs. Ernie Pyle was so deep in the action in World War II, he was killed by a Japanese sniper, not that you gotta go that far.
Rory: Buford, Pyle. I know.
Logan: Richard Hottelet was four months in a Nazi prison working for the U.P. Hunter Thompson lived with the Hell's Angels. Got in the muck, didn't just orbit around it, and it drove his writing. He put you in those biker's parties. He put you in those biker's heads.
Rory: All right, all right, so, those guys participated. I got it, but I...

Logan: You're scared.
Rory: Well, yeah!
Logan: And that stops the greats?
Rory: It's stopping this great!
Logan: Come on, you look like you need a little adventure.
Rory: What does that mean?
Logan: You're just a little sheltered.
Rory: Why? Because I haven't spent time in a Nazi prison, been stomped on by hooligans and beat up by Hell's Angels? And Plimpton got banged up pretty good too.
Logan: It'll be fun, it'll be a thrill. Something stupid, something bad for you. Just something different. Isn't this the point of being young? It's your choice, Ace. People can live a hundred years without really living for a minute. You climb up here with me, it's one less minute you haven't lived.
Rory: Let's go.

Luke: [on the phone] I franchised my place.
Lorelai: What?
Luke: The diner. There's going to be seven of them, and that's just on the eastern seaboard. Then, I'm going national.
Lorelai: What are you talking about?
Luke: Your father wants to open up a chain of Luke's Diners, and I think I agreed to it.
Lorelai: No!
Luke: I've already got a marketing guy, Herb's my banker, your father is taking care of all my insurance needs, and apparently, everyone is going to be able to buy stock!
Lorelai: Ugh! My parents. My stupid parents!

Luke: [on the phone] Oh, and I sort of implied that I'm fond of the Greeks, so I have to read the Iliad and the Odyssey so we can chat about it, and can we not hang out with your parents for a very long time?
Lorelai: For a very long time.
Luke: I mean, I don't hate them.
Lorelai: Leave the driving range at once.
Luke: I don't think I can drive.
Lorelai: Honey, have some coffee and then come home.
Luke: The Diebenkorn guy is still in there.
Lorelai: You stay away from the Diebenkorn guy.
Luke: He's chatting with my rare coin guy. Just do not go back in the clubhouse. Go straight to your car.

Emily: He is not good enough for Lorelai. Or to be Rory's stepfather, God forbid.
Richard: Can we be a little more of a snob, Emily?
Emily: The fact that you paraded him around the club. Our club!
Richard: It happened to be a fruitful outing. I am going to assist him in franchising his diner.
Emily: Richard, that hirsute lout is not capable of running a complex business.
Richard: Well, that's obvious, Emily. That's why he will have no significant role, he will be the frontman. We'll shave him, stick his picture on the menus. The whole thing will, hopefully, bestow some credibility on him. At least then, if this insane relationship between him and Lorelai continues, we can legitimately take him to places like the club. At least, on holidays.
Emily: This is absurd. You're absurd, the whole thing's absurd.
Richard: And you're not thinking ahead. [chuckles]

Luke: Book it.
Lorelai: Luke!
Luke: Book it.
Lorelai: Okay. But I'm warning you, if I call and tell her, and then you change your mind and you want to back out, we're going to have to leave the country. And have extensive facial surgery, and sex changes. Both of us, so that we can, you know, kiss and not look funny.

Lorelai: Okay, fine, I'll just call her now- Oh, whoa, what is happening? Something dark is happening here. It is heavy like iron. Oh, did you feel that ice cold wind that just passed through?
Luke: Make the call.
Lorelai: I see dead people.
Luke: Make the call.

Lorelai: Drinks?
Emily: We're in the foyer.
Lorelai: Let's change that.
Emily: Not if Luke wants a tour.
Lorelai: Oh, okay, well, foyer, staircase, upstairs, dining room, kitchen, weird piano area that we never really named, and right through here is the living room.