Sookie: We'll show 'em, huh, guys?! We'll show 'em you don't need fancy stuff like stoves in order to make a delicious meal. We've got salads, lots and lots of salads. Caprese and endive and arugula and... Ooh, cold sandwiches and beef carpaccio and tuna carpaccio and vegetable carpaccio and. Oh, my god. Am I ever gonna get the stove back? I'm dying here!

Paris: Yale's paid for through the end of the year, thank god. But what'll I do about everything else I need? What'll I do?
Rory: You'll have to do what everyone else who needs money has to do.
Paris: What's that?
Rory: What people do.
Paris: What am I, a mind reader?
Rory: Get a job.
Paris: A job? I've never had a job. I don't know the first thing about having a job. All I've got on my resume is academic achievements, which will mean doodly-squat when I'm in line with 11,000 people vying for an opening in the garden department at Wal-Mart.

Rory: I know you'll be a hard worker. That's a given.
Paris: I definitely would be. And you know I speak Chinese and Farsi, if that'll help.
Rory: Well, I need servers for the food. You could do that, right?
Paris: I think so.
Rory: See? You're on the road to recovery.
Paris: Oh, thanks. And I'll work my butt off, too, Glenda. Oh, and I know a smattering of ancient Aramaic, if that helps.

Luke: Pasta's almost done, sauce is close, too.
Lorelai: You know, we could have just used the store-bought sauce I have.
Luke: That stuff is junk.
Lorelai: It's delicious Italian sauce.
Luke: Okay, first off, it's not. Second, all you had was four already-opened jars, two of which I couldn't get the lids off of.
Lorelai: Somebody needs some gym time.
Luke: And one of them had a layer of white fuzz on it.
Lorelai: That was a little gross.
Luke: And the last one, green fuzz.
Lorelai: Also gross.
Luke: I make better, just like mama taught me.

Richard: Well, I don't know why I bother. The great books take practically a lifetime to read as it is. But if you heed the word of Mortimer Adler, one needs to read a classic three times to fully comprehend its meaning.
Rory: Yeah.
Richard: I wonder if Mortimer ever read Euclid's Geometry three times. That's a fun read. Have you read Euclid's Geometry?
Rory: Me? No.
Richard: It doesn't get any drier. What have you been reading lately? I keep forgetting to ask.

Paris: So, working hard or hardly working? Oh, my, oh, my. I love it!

Sookie: Ooh, the ballerinas are doing Swan Lake. That always makes me cry.
Lorelai: Oh, Patty's packed it all in. Baton twirling, a modeling exhibition. She's added a couple new features, too.
Sookie: Yeah. What's krumping?
Lorelai: Um, like hip-hop dance, I think. More herky-jerky.
Sookie: And what is pubic speaking?
Lorelai: I'm hoping it's a misprint.
Sookie: I hope so, too.

Richard: My father was a huge Benny Goodman fan. Hated Glenn Miller, hated him. Always claimed it wasn't the enemy who shot down that plane of his, but music lovers.
Emily: Oh, Richard, that's a horrible thing to say.
Richard: Well, it was my father who said it.
Emily: But you just repeated it.

Richard: Rory, please accept my profound thanks for serving food at a D.A.R. event which is remarkably edible.
Emily: Oh, Richard. We always have good food.
Richard: You have fancy good food. If I never look at another duck's liver for the rest of my life, I will be a happy man.

Paris: Appetizers?
Man: Oh, thank you.
Paris: You're welcome. [the man eats] So how was that?
Man: Mm, fine, very good.
Paris: I meant the transaction. I'd love a performance review. Come on. Be my Dave Navarro.
Man: Um, you were fine.
Paris: I'm gonna need more. It was T.S. Eliot who said "Criticism is as inevitable as breathing and said that we should be none the worse for articulating what passes in our mind when we read a book, see a play, or" - now I'm elaborating - pass a cheddar and olive ball. I need some feedback.
Man: Really, you offered it to me well, and all seemed great, and I don't want to talk about this anymore.
Paris: Good. Thank you. This has been a help.